Metaconsciousness: Becoming Aware of the Ways We’re Driven

Lately I’ve been thinking about how much of life unfolds beneath the surface of our awareness, not just in the mysterious depths of the unconscious, but also in the quieter, more practical rhythms of habit, mood, and reaction. What if our real work is to notice not just what we’re conscious of, but how consciousness itself is being directed?

That’s what is meant by metaconsciousness, the capacity to recognise when we are being driven by hormones, hunger, fear of rejection, deadlines, the steady dopamine drip of our phones, or the deep psychic grooves of childhood conditioning. In my own experience—especially during the past few months of moving between projects, planning new teaching, and reshaping routines—this awareness has felt like an internal turning point. The challenge isn’t simply to ‘be mindful’, but to discern the layers of agency beneath the surface: Who, exactly, is choosing what I’m doing right now?

When I start to ask that question seriously, it becomes uncomfortable. I notice how much of my day is already spoken for by subtle compulsions masquerading as preferences. Even something as benign as checking email can carry the faint pulse of anxiety, a microdose of control. We like to believe that modern life rewards autonomy and discernment, but in practice it trains us in reactivity, which is, by definition, the opposite of freedom.

From Consciousness to Metaconsciousness

Consciousness, in this view, is not a steady state but a constantly fluctuating field of attention. It’s automatic, embodied, and largely determined by biological imperatives. You feel hunger, so you eat. You feel threatened, so you defend. You feel bored, so you reach for your phone. These are not moral failings; they’re simply how the nervous system evolved to keep us alive.

Metaconsciousness, though, introduces a different quality. It’s what happens when we see that we’re acting automatically and hold that recognition with curiosity rather than judgment. There’s a subtle but profound difference between saying ‘I’m angry’ and ‘I notice that anger is arising’. The first statement identifies with the emotion; the second observes it. And in that observation lies the seed of freedom.

This is why contemplative practice remains, for me, one of the few truly radical technologies of our time. Sitting quietly, noticing the mind’s movements without needing to edit or manage them, slowly reveals how much of what we call “self” is just a cascade of impulses, stories, and inherited scripts. Over time, a new perspective opens—one that isn’t outside the body but is no longer confined by it.

If you’re drawn to exploring this dimension in your own creative or professional life, I’ll be leading an online session called Mindfulness for Creatives: Cultivating Focus, Flow, and Inspiration on 23 October (7.30–9.00pm, UK time). We’ll look at practical tools for noticing when attention narrows or scatters—and how that awareness can restore genuine inspiration.

The Drama of the Driven Life

Of course, once we begin to see how we’re driven, another pattern emerges: the drama of selfhood. Many of us unconsciously replay emotional scripts that were formed long before adulthood, such as seeking validation, fearing abandonment, or rescuing others to avoid our own discomfort. These patterns aren’t evidence of failure but they are evidence that we are living out of old perspectives and potentially trying to replicate old relationships from the past, especially the damaging or traumatic ones.

But they can also be exhausting. In coaching and in my own reflective practice, I’ve seen how deeply these dynamics colour our work, our love, and even our whole sense of purpose. The shift toward metaconsciousness invites us to watch these patterns with compassion and detachment, and to move, in psychological terms, from within the drama to observing it.

This theme forms the heart of my upcoming workshop Stopping the Drama Cycle: A Workshop on Love & Our Limiting Patterns on 3 November (7.00–8.30pm, UK time). It’s an evening devoted to understanding how we get pulled into emotional triangulations—the victim, rescuer, and persecutor roles that Karpman identified—and how to step into a more mature and loving mode of engagement. If you’ve ever felt trapped in repetition, whether in relationships or creative work, this session offers a clear, compassionate way through.

Beyond Insight: Practicing the Miraculous

Metaconsciousness doesn’t stop at awareness; it calls for us to do something with it and act from a deeper centre. For me, this is where A Course in Miracles becomes a training in radical perception. Its central insight, that we can learn to see differently, aligns perfectly with the idea of metaconsciousness: we are not our automatic thoughts, but the awareness capable of choosing love instead of fear.

In Practical Miracles: Practicing the Course Beyond the Book on 8 November (2–5pm, UK time), we’ll explore this integration more experientially. How do we move from intellectual understanding to lived transformation? How do we reframe life’s small irritations as opportunities to practice gentler perception? This isn’t about metaphysical abstraction but about everyday miracle-mindedness: the courage to meet the driven mind with tenderness.

A Season of Turning Inward

As autumn settles in, I find myself slowing down a bit. The academic year begins; projects find their rhythm; the light changes. Each season asks for its own form of consciousness, and autumn, for me, always invites metaconsciousness. It’s the season of noticing how we’re driven: by deadlines, by expectations, by the desire to finish before winter.

But it’s also the season of release. Of choosing what’s worth carrying forward and what can gently fall away. In this way, the movement from consciousness to metaconsciousness mirrors the movement from doing to being—from the leaf’s impulse to hold the branch to its graceful surrender to air.

If you’ve been following some of my recent writing on what our books say about us or how to develop positive morning rituals, you’ll recognise the same undercurrent: how to live well within limits. To become aware not only of what drives us, but of the stillness beneath those drives.

And that, I suspect, is the quiet art of metaconsciousness. Not transcending the body or renouncing the world, but inhabiting both more fully—knowing that our thoughts and feelings will continue to move like weather, while something deeper watches with patience.

If you’d like to explore that space with others this autumn, I hope you’ll join one—or several—of these gatherings.


Upcoming Workshops

Morning Rituals for a More Grounded Day

The early bird 40% off offer for The Artist’s Way Circle: A 12-Week Creative Journey closes at midnight tonight. In this powerful small-group experience, we will work through Julia Cameron’s classic book together, sharing insights, deepening our practice, and building a creative community that makes the journey feel less solitary and more alive.


For me, mornings have become less about rushing into productivity and more about creating a small pocket of time that feels set apart, a threshold into the day. This is, after all, what Julia Cameron invites us to do in The Artist’s Way: show up to the blank page before we show up to anyone else.

A ritual isn’t a routine; it is a way of marking time as meaningful. When I light a candle before writing, or make my coffee slowly in my V60 instead of rushing, I am reminding myself that this time is not just another item to cross off a list, it is where my life begins for the day. Mircea Eliade, in The Sacred and the Profane, writes about ritual as a way of stepping into ‘sacred time’, a space where the ordinary becomes charged with significance. For me, this might mean lighting a special candle that reminds me of that changing of the seasons going on at the moment, or pausing for a moment on the balcony to notice the light on the plants before I open my laptop. These small gestures are a way of crossing the threshold deliberately, rather than being dragged into the day half-awake.

Groundedness begins in the body. No amount of list-making and project management will make a difference if I wake up already scattered and tense. The first thing I try to do now is move. I have been trying to get into running again, which I alternate with indoor rowing (my preferred cardio of choice). And after years of not making progress or any form of commitment to resistance machines at the gym, I’ve taken up strength training with two simple dumbbells, which has been an absolutely fantastic development in my fitness journey–the trainers on FIIT have revolutionised my entire outlook on dumbbells. This comes alongside my yoga practice, which has been with me for nearly 25 years. The point is less about physical fitness (although, as I get older, I am becoming increasingly aware of the need to build lasting wellness) and more about arriving in my body. As Bessel van der Kolk reminds us in The Body Keeps the Score, our sense of safety and clarity begins somatically, not intellectually. If I can bring my nervous system into a calmer, more coherent state first thing, the rest of the day feels less like a battle.

Creativity thrives in spaciousness, not in haste. This is where Morning Pages come in—Julia Cameron’s influential practice of writing three longhand pages first thing in the morning. They are not intended to be polished or even interesting; they are more like clearing mental static, a way to compost the thoughts that would otherwise clutter the mind all day. I find that pairing them with something tactile—a favourite notebook, a good pen—enhances the ritual. (In The Artist’s Way Circle, we’ll not only practice Morning Pages but also discuss what they unlock: the surprising insights that surface when we permit ourselves to be imperfectly present.)

Not every ritual has to be still. A ten-minute stroll before sitting down to write can be as clarifying as a meditation cushion. The Go Jauntly app has been such a fantastic presence for me. Thich Nhat Hanh speaks beautifully about walking meditation as a way to arrive in the present moment, and I find that even putting on a playlist and tidying the kitchen can create that same bridging effect between sleep and wakefulness. The point is to let the mind settle before reaching for the phone, before taking on the noise of the world.

During my sabbatical, I’ve been focusing on testing and adjusting my daily habits so that when I return to a busy routine of teaching and administration in the new year, I will have a clear understanding of what best supports my growth and development. Protecting the first hour of the day is, I’ve come to see, an act of self-respect. Seneca reminds us that we are often more careful with money than with time, though time is the one thing we can never get back. I’ve started following a ‘no-scroll rule’ in the first hour of the day, and replaced it with going straight to the gym.

The key is not to design the perfect morning but to make a start, consistently. There have been mornings where the ritual falls apart—when I oversleep, or skip the gym entirely—but I’m learning that a ritual that only works on perfect days isn’t really a ritual at all. The point is to keep coming back. James Clear’s Atomic Habits puts it simply: habits compound over time. A short, wobbly practice is better than a grand plan you never do.

This time of year feels like an invitation to recommit. I’ve always felt that September carries more of a ‘new year’ energy than January—it must be the academic calendar still in my bones. This month, I’m choosing to double down on the things that anchor me: lighting a candle before email, a few minutes of breathing exercises, and breakfast that feels nourishing rather than hasty. I’d love for you to consider what this season might invite for you.

Ultimately, a grounded morning is an act of creative resistance. In a culture that would have us wake up and immediately start scrolling, choosing ritual is choosing presence. So tonight, ask yourself: how do you want your mornings to feel for the next twelve weeks? And if you are ready to experiment—with ritual, with creativity, with spaciousness—I’d love for you to join us in The Artist’s Way Circle. The early-bird 40% discount closes at midnight tonight, and there are just a few spots left. Your mornings—and your creative life—might look completely different on the other side.


More to Explore

Autumn Creativity Awaits: Upcoming Events

As the leaves turn and the pace of life shifts, autumn is the perfect season to nurture your creative self. Whether you’re a writer, artist, academic, or thinker, this fall I’m offering a range of events designed to support your practice, spark fresh ideas, and help you stay focused and inspired.

🎨 Weekly Creative Flow Sessions – Free
Dedicated time to write, draw, or work on your projects alongside other creatives. No pressure, just presence, energy, and support. Quiet, structured sessions to help you start, focus, and finish your creative work in good company.
RSVP here

📖 12-Week Artist’s Way Circle
Dive deep with Julia Cameron’s classic book, The Artist’s Way, bringing the work to life in community with practical exercises and reflections to reclaim your creative voice. Weekly 90-minute circles for reflection, sharing, and growth.
Join here

🧘 Mindfulness for Creatives – Evening Workshop
Learn mindfulness techniques specifically for creatives and academics. Cultivate focus, flow, and inspiration in your daily practice in this 2.5-hour workshop filled with science-backed insights and practical exercises and tools.
Reserve your spot here

Autumn is a season of new beginnings and renewed energy. Whether you’re seeking free flow time, structured accountability, or a transformative creative journey, there’s a place for you in these sessions. I’d love to see you there—let’s make this autumn a season of inspiration, focus, and creative growth.

What If You Could Train Your Mind for Peace?

We live in a time when personal development is everywhere. Books, podcasts, apps, retreats—offering promises of clarity, balance, transformation. Yet for all the tools we now have at our fingertips, many of us still feel stuck in cycles of stress, comparison, anxiety, and low-level unease. We meditate, journal, affirm—but underneath, a quieter question lingers:

Why do I keep thinking in ways that don’t serve me?

A Course in Miracles doesn’t answer that question in the way most programs or teachings do. It doesn’t try to fix your life. It doesn’t teach you how to manifest your dream job, or how to wake up feeling inspired every morning. It doesn’t even really give advice.

Instead, it offers something far more radical: a training in how to undo fear at the level of thought. Not by fighting it. Not by spiritually bypassing it. But by recognising how much of what we call “reality” is coloured by unconscious habits of mind—and learning, very gently, to choose a different lens.

The Course tells us: “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.”

That sounds mystical, and it is. But it’s also incredibly practical. It points to a profound principle: most of what we spend our time defending, controlling, resisting, or avoiding… isn’t actually real. It’s based on thoughts we’ve inherited, stories we’ve absorbed, and fear patterns we mistake for wisdom.

And yet—there is another way of seeing. And we can learn it. That’s what A Course in Miracles invites us to do.


Not a Religion, But a Mindset Shift

For many people, the word “Course” suggests a study program, while “Miracles” sounds like something out of a spiritual fantasy novel. It’s no wonder people hesitate to pick it up. But behind the slightly intimidating title is something remarkably down-to-earth: a process.

The Course is made up of three parts:

  1. Text that lays out the underlying framework for how we perceive the world, and how we might begin to shift our perception.
  2. Workbook, offering a lesson for every day of the year, each designed to undo a particular block to awareness.
  3. A brief Manual for Teachers, which clarifies how to embody and share the Course’s core principles.

What’s unique about the Course is that it doesn’t ask us to adopt new beliefs. It doesn’t claim to be the only way. In fact, it repeatedly says it’s just one path among many. But it is precise. And if you feel drawn to it, it works deeply.

The Course teaches that the world we see is shaped by the thoughts we think. But unlike most positive psychology, it doesn’t suggest we simply replace negative thoughts with nicer ones. Instead, it asks us to recognise the root of our misperception—fear, judgment, separation—and to bring those habits into awareness, where they can be gently released.

This is not about willpower. It’s not about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about becoming aware of the part of your mind that thinks it has to struggle for worth, and learning how to soften its grip.


A Path Practised by Many (Even If You Don’t Know It)

You may have encountered the Course without realising it.

Marianne Williamson’s A Return to Love—a breakout spiritual classic in the 1990s—was drawn directly from her experience as a Course student. Oprah, who championed the book, has spoken about how the Course shaped her understanding of forgiveness and emotional responsibility. Gabrielle Bernstein built much of her early work around making Course ideas more accessible to a younger generation.

And yet for all this quiet influence, the Course remains relatively underground—a word-of-mouth path. That’s partly because it’s not easy to summarise. It’s not designed for social media snippets. It asks for attention, and offers clarity in return.


Why Study the Course in a Group?

Like many spiritual texts, A Course in Miracles is best read slowly, with space to reflect, question, and apply. It isn’t something you power through. In fact, many people return to it again and again over years—each time discovering something they didn’t see before.

That’s why I’ve created an 18-month study group, meeting weekly on Sunday evenings from 7.30 to 9.00pm UK time.

We take the Text section by section—reading together, reflecting aloud or in silence, noticing how these teachings meet our real lives. There’s no pressure to contribute, no expectations of previous study. Just an invitation to explore what happens when we train the mind for peace rather than protection.

Once you register, you’ll receive the full reading schedule. You can join each week or come when you can. The rhythm is slow, sustainable, and designed to create space for integration rather than overwhelm.

Some people come with a long-standing interest in the Course. Others are completely new. Some are therapists, teachers, or coaches looking to deepen their personal practice. Others are simply seeking an anchor—something intelligent and transformative that doesn’t ask them to leave their critical thinking behind.


Miracles, Redefined

In the Course, a miracle isn’t a supernatural event. It’s a shift in perception—from fear to love, from control to trust, from attack to understanding. These are the quiet revolutions that can change a life from the inside out.

And they happen, not because we force them, but because we create the conditions for them to arise.

In a world that often feels fast, fragmented, and fraught with uncertainty, the Course offers something rare: a path of steady, unhurried insight—one that helps us see ourselves and others more clearly, and respond from a place of genuine freedom.


You’re Invited

If something in you feels curious, even if you’re unsure what to make of the Course, you’re warmly invited to join us. There’s nothing to prove. No need to sign up to a belief system. Just a willingness to explore what happens when we start training our minds not to panic, but to listen.

🌀 Ready to begin? Join the study group here

A Mindful Writer’s Work

Writers are, by nature, time-travellers. We inhabit fictional futures, resurrect the past, and drift into imagined dialogues with people who may never have existed. We are also specialists in the art of absence. We wait. We hesitate. We circle. We listen to silence and hope it speaks. Sometimes, we write. But more often, we pace, daydream, refresh the kettle, and convince ourselves that all this not-writing is a necessary prologue to the real work. And sometimes, it is. The mind is not a faucet to be turned on. It is an ecosystem — richly unpredictable, sometimes tangled, occasionally still, and most of all, profoundly sensitive to how we attend to it.

Mindfulness enters here not as a productivity hack or a therapeutic bolt-on, but as an ethical and perceptual stance. It is a way of meeting the page with honesty, curiosity, and renewed presence. It is not, as is often misunderstood, a kind of mental tidiness or a zen-like emptiness that promises a state of uninterrupted flow. Rather, mindfulness honours the interruption. It makes space for the full texture of attention — including boredom, restlessness, and self-doubt — as essential aspects of the writer’s path. To write mindfully is to learn to dwell with those textures, rather than race ahead of them.

The problem is rarely the blank page. The problem is how we relate to it. The mind, when left to its own devices, often gallops ahead with expectations, judgments, comparisons. We tell ourselves stories about the story before we’ve begun. We decide the quality of a paragraph before it has drawn breath. We rehearse the imagined criticisms of strangers. This is the veil we place over our writing — the veil of control, perfectionism, and outcome-oriented striving. Mindfulness does not remove the veil but helps us notice its weave. And sometimes, through that noticing, the veil lifts just long enough for a sentence to step through.

In my own experience — and in the experience of many writers I’ve taught or coached — the most radical breakthroughs often come not in the act of writing itself but in the subtle shift in how we attend to writing. A morning ritual, a breath before the keyboard, a pause between edits: these seemingly peripheral moments recalibrate the nervous system. They draw us out of our reflexive reactivity and into a state of contact — with the sentence, with the self, with the world. And in that contact, writing becomes something more than word production. It becomes a practice of attention.

The poet Mary Oliver, whose work is often misread as simplistic pastoralism, understood this deeply. “To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work,” she wrote. She did not say, “to be original,” or “to be ambitious,” or “to write something that wins the Booker.” She placed the emphasis squarely on attention — on the quality of presence brought to the ordinary. In this sense, mindfulness is less about achieving a calm state than about cultivating a truthful one. And truth, for writers, is a muscle: it must be exercised not only in the sentence, but in the attention that gives birth to it.

One of the key insights of contemplative traditions is that clarity arises not from mental force, but from relinquishment. This is perhaps counterintuitive to the writer, especially one steeped in the myth of genius — that Romantic notion of the tortured soul, pressing brilliance from suffering like ink from a bruise. But mindfulness offers a different myth. In it, creativity does not have to be extracted through pressure. It can be invited. Welcomed. Allowed. This does not make it easy. It simply changes the atmosphere.

To write with mindfulness is not to become passive or dispassionate. On the contrary, it is to feel more, not less. It is to become intimate with the swirl of emotions that accompany the writing process — the hope, the irritation, the grief, the flickers of joy — without being consumed by them. It is to befriend uncertainty without rushing to resolve it. It is to sit, sometimes for long moments, in the discomfort of not-knowing, without outsourcing that discomfort to distraction. And it is from this place that some of our most honest writing can emerge.

Mindfulness also recalibrates our relationship with time. Writers often live under the tyranny of two clocks: the deadline and the lost time. We chastise ourselves for starting late, for not writing more, for the years that have passed without finishing the novel. And when we do write, we’re often haunted by the awareness that we should be doing something else, something more productive, more impressive, more lucrative. Mindfulness invites us to release, even briefly, the grip of these clocks. In the mindful moment, time thickens. One paragraph written in full presence may be worth ten written in anxiety.

This is not to romanticise slowness or to fetishise the gentle. Writing is still a craft. It still requires editing, discipline, ambition, and an occasional ruthlessness toward the over-precious sentence. But mindfulness adds a layer beneath the craft: a foundation of awareness from which the work can rise. Without that awareness, we are often writing on automatic, mimicking the styles of others, pleasing imagined audiences, trying to prove ourselves to people who will never read us. With awareness, we can ask different questions: What am I truly trying to say? Where is this sentence resisting its own truth? What is this character afraid of?

In teaching contemplative writing to doctoral students, I have seen firsthand how mindfulness can shift the centre of gravity in the writing process. Students who were paralysed by perfectionism begin to experiment. Those overwhelmed by theory start to write from the body. Even footnotes start to feel less like obligations and more like conversations. Something happens when attention settles. It is as if the writing remembers what it was always meant to be: not a performance, but a practice of inquiry, of relation, of becoming.

Writers also need to learn to listen again — not just to characters or plots or research findings, but to themselves. Mindfulness trains this kind of listening. It sharpens the inner ear, the one attuned to both silence and signal. This is the listening that hears the deeper intention beneath the sentence. It is what tells you when a paragraph is honest and when it is merely clever. It is what lets you feel when a metaphor is alive and when it is just ornamental. This kind of listening cannot be rushed. It requires stillness, patience, and a certain humility — the humility to admit that we are not always in command of our own voice, but must learn to hear it anew.

And what of inspiration? That elusive, temperamental muse who arrives in fragments and often refuses to be summoned. Mindfulness does not guarantee inspiration, but it does cultivate the conditions in which inspiration is more likely to arrive. It clears space. It makes the mind more porous, more receptive. It creates a gentle rhythm of approach and withdrawal, of writing and pausing, that allows the unconscious to contribute its gifts. Inspiration is not, in this view, a lightning bolt but a dialogue — one that requires you to be home when the knock comes.

To be a mindful writer is, ultimately, to consent to presence. Presence not only with the page, but with the full ecology of your own being: your body, your breath, your irritations, your fatigue, your flickers of delight. Writing begins here. Not in the idea, but in the contact. Not in the goal, but in the ground. In this way, mindfulness is not merely a tool for writing. It is a stance, a spirit, an ethos. It asks not only what you are writing, but how you are living in relation to your writing.

There are, of course, practical ways to embed mindfulness into your craft. Begin your writing session with a minute of stillness. Anchor yourself in the body — feel your hands on the keys, the weight of your sitting bones, the breath moving in and out. When you notice yourself spiralling into judgment or distraction, gently return. Not as punishment, but as invitation. Pause between paragraphs. Gaze out the window. Let the world in. These small gestures are not indulgences. They are the very architecture of attention.

In the end, mindfulness reminds us that writing is not something that happens out there. It is not in the screen or the word count or the approval of others. It happens here, in the quiet, stubborn space of your own awareness. And when that awareness is tender, spacious, and alert, the writing that emerges from it — however slow, however strange — carries a certain resonance. It may not always be beautiful. But it will be real. And in a world saturated with noise, realness is no small offering.

So write. Not hurriedly, not perfectly, but presently. Let the mirror of your attention reflect the flickering truth of your inner life. Let the veil of distraction and doubt fall, even if only for a sentence. You do not have to write everything today. But you can write one honest thing. And that is enough. That is the path.