Tag: focus

5 Steps to Develop a Daily Meditation Practice: Tips from an Integrative Coach and Meditation Teacher

Posted on by Allan Johnson in meditation, mindfulness

Meditation has been practised for thousands of years and is becoming increasingly popular in today’s society as a means of reducing stress, increasing concentration and improving general well-being. However, establishing a consistent meditation practise can be challenging, especially for beginners. As an integrative coach and meditation teacher, I have worked with many people to develop a daily meditation practise, and I have found that there are five essential steps to successfully building this habit.

Step 1: Set an Intention

The first step in developing a daily meditation practise is to set an intention. This involves identifying the reason for your meditation and setting a clear, specific goal for your practise. Without a clear intention, it can be difficult to stay motivated and focused on your meditation practise.

To set an intention, take some time to think about why you want to meditate. Do you want to reduce stress? Improve concentration? Increase self-awareness? Once you have found your reason for meditating, set a clear, specific goal for your practise. For example, you might decide to meditate for 10 minutes every morning before you start your day.

Setting an intention can also mean creating a ritual or ceremony around your meditation practise. For example, you could light a candle or burn incense before you meditate to signal the start of your practise. This can help create a sense of sacredness and importance around your practise, making it easier to maintain over time.

Step 2: Choose a Time and Place

The second step in developing a daily meditation practise is to choose a set time and place for your practise. This helps to develop a routine and makes it easier to maintain the practise over a longer period of time.

When choosing a time for your practise, consider your schedule and choose a time that works best for you. Some people prefer to meditate first thing in the morning, while others find it helpful to meditate during their lunch break or in the evening before going to bed. The key is to choose a time that is realistic and sustainable for you.

When choosing a place for your practise, pick a quiet, comfortable space that is suitable for meditation. This could be a spare room in your home, a quiet corner in your office or a park bench in a nearby park. Whatever place you choose, make sure it is one where you feel calm and relaxed.

Step 3: Start Small and Build Consistency

The third step in developing a daily meditation practise is to start small and develop consistency over time. It is better to meditate for a few minutes every day than for an hour once a week.

Start with a realistic goal, such as five minutes of meditation a day, and increase the duration of your practise over time. This encourages consistency and makes it easier to stick with the practise in the long term.

To encourage consistency, set reminders or use a meditation app to track your progress. You could also consider keeping a diary to reflect on your experience and document your progress over time.

Step 4: Experiment with Different Techniques

The fourth step in developing a daily meditation practise is to experiment with different techniques. There are many different meditation techniques and it is important to find one that suits you.

Some popular meditation techniques are mindfulness meditation, loving kindness meditation and body scan meditation. Each of these techniques requires you to focus your attention in a different way, and it is important to experiment to find the technique that suits you best.

Try different techniques and see how they feel. You may find that you enjoy one technique more than others, or you may find that different techniques work better at different times of the day or in different situations.

Step 5: Seek Support and Accountability

The fifth and final step in developing a daily meditation practise is to seek support and accountability. Meditation can be a solitary practise, but it is important to seek support and accountability to stay motivated and consistent.

One way to seek support is to join an online meditation community or attend a local meditation group. These communities provide a space where you can connect with others who are also meditating, share your experiences and receive guidance and support.

Another way to find support is to find an accountability partner. This can be a friend, family member or colleague who is also interested in developing a daily meditation practise. You can regularly update each other, share your progress and encourage and support each other.

There are also many meditation apps that offer guided meditations, progress tracking and other features to help you stay on track with your practise. Some of the most popular apps include Headspace, Calm and Insight Timer.

In summary, developing a daily meditation practise requires intention, consistency and support. By setting a clear intention, choosing a consistent time and place, starting small and building consistency, experimenting with different techniques, and seeking support and accountability, you can develop a regular meditation habit that will promote your overall well-being. Remember that developing a daily meditation practise is a journey, and it is important to be patient and compassionate with yourself along the way. There may be days when your practise feels difficult or uncomfortable, and that is okay. What matters is that you stay true to your intention and continue to show up for your practise every day. Meditation is an effective way to reduce stress, increase concentration and improve your overall well-being. By following these five steps, you can develop a daily meditation practise that will benefit your physical, mental and emotional health.

In The Path of Mindful Living: A 21-Day Mindfulness Companion, I lead you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and show you how to bring mindfulness into your daily life. Readers of my blog can download the workbook and pullout charts for only £6.

What Causes Imposter Syndrome and How Do You Get Through It?

Posted on by Allan Johnson in wellbeing

Imposter syndrome refers to the belief that a person is not as intelligent or successful as they are perceived to be by others. Imposter syndrome often affects people who are very successful or high achievers in their field of work. People who have high levels of internalised imposter feelings may feel that they have cheated in some way to get where they are in lifeor that they are only considered competent in a job or relationship because of luck or external factors. These feelings can lead to anxiety, an overwhelming desire to please others, and a constant fear of being found out.

The term was first coined by Suzanne Imes and Pauline Clance 50 years ago, but seems to have become more widespread in recent years. A person suffering from imposter syndrome is usually unable to internalise their achievements and feels that they are actually just a ‘fraud’ or ‘imposter’ and do not deserve their success. Although people with imposter syndrome know they are intelligent and capable, they feel they are a fraud and do not deserve their success.

There seems to be an evolutionary explanation for imposter syndrome. To the human mind, a social risk such as shame or embarrassment is perceived in the same way as a physical risk, because for our earliest ancestors, exclusion from the tribe was tantamount to death. So humans have an innate tendency to be alert to social judgements and threats of shame, and, in many ways, the imposter syndrome is a form of self-protection.

However, this does not mean that we have to be guided by mental models developed for the hunter-gatherer age. Imposter syndrome makes us more cautious, less willing to take risks, and more inclined to stay in our comfort zone. This is good to a certain extent, but in many cases imposter syndrome can become a limiting belief that prevents us from doing things that might challenge us and help us grow. It becomes problematic when our self-protective mechanisms become so extreme that they actually put us at risk of failure and self-sabotage.

Instead of resisting the experience of imposter syndrome, we need to learn to accept it. When we experience imposter syndrome, we can mitigate our experience by recognising that it is part of a larger process, that we are vulnerable, and that as human beings we are particularly vulnerable to anxiety. When we suffer from imposter syndrome, we need to expand to a larger reality by accessing the inner strength and resources we can draw from to feel more confident, manage our fears and expand our comfort zone. As human beings, we need to be able to make mistakes and be imperfect because that is the only way we can learn and grow. When we are able to remember our humanity and our ability to bounce back, we can begin to take responsibility for our experiences.

To break the cycle of imposter syndrome, we need to introduce new beliefs and new ways of thinking. It is important to recognise that imposter syndrome is a perception, a story and a belief we tell ourselves about the world. Imposter syndrome is an illusion, a drive triggered by fear and self-doubt, and it is temporary. When we experience imposter syndrome, we need to take a step back, take a breath, reflect and engage with our bodies. We do not have to believe our thoughts and stories unquestioningly. Instead, we can explore the nature of our mind and realise that the moment we question our automatic reactions, we make space for something else. Once we recognise imposter syndrome for what it is, we can begin to let go of our negative relationship to it.

The key to being less vulnerable to imposter syndrome is to become aware of the beliefs and stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and our world. Part of the illusion that imposter syndrome creates is that we downplay all the smaller achievements we make every day. When we suffer from imposter syndrome, we do not allow ourselves to acknowledge our own achievements because we simply do not believe them. We ignore the small acts of courage and strength we perform every day and fail to recognise the extent to which we help others. It is not always the big, obvious achievements that matter most. Very often it is the small, everyday successes that show us that we are constantly growing and developing. We can begin to break the cycle of imposter syndrome by looking for evidence of our competence and intelligence, even in the smallest things. When imposter syndrome sets in, acknowledge the invisible accomplishments that others do not see.

Imposter syndrome is a self-protective mechanism, but we can change it. When we expand to a greater reality of our own achievements, we have the opportunity to replace the imposter story with new stories that empower us. We can use the power of these new stories to support, protect and nurture us. We can encourage ourselves with stories of our courage, resilience, kindness and authenticity. These are the stories that help us cultivate the self-compassion, self-confidence and courage we need to overcome imposter syndrome.

Download your free 21-day course in The Path of Mindfulness. In this life-changing 21-day mindfulness journey, Dr Allan Kilner-Johnson guides you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and shows you how and when to bring mindfulness into your daily life. 

How to Accept Yourself Without Losing Yourself in the Process

Posted on by Allan Johnson in compassion, wellbeing

For many of us, it can be difficult to accept the parts of ourselves that we do not like. We are often at war with ourselves, constantly fighting with the voices in our head. Maybe we struggle with the way we look, maybe we struggle with the way we act, maybe we struggle with the way we think.

Issues around self-acceptance are complex. They arise from our own experiences, our judgements of ourselves and the way we compare ourselves to other people. If we have been wounded, suffered trauma, or been treated badly, we easily get stuck in the past or judge ourselves harshly. This can lead to an inner critic that is constantly with us, telling us that we are not good enough and not worthy of love.

The way we treat ourselves has a big impact on the way we treat other people. If we constantly blame ourselves, it is unlikely that we will treat other people with compassion and respect. If we compare ourselves to other people, we will see ourselves as losers.

The goal is to be with yourself, accept yourself and be yourself. To be a different kind of person, to have a more positive attitude, to have a more compassionate attitude, to have a more loving relationship with yourself. It’s important to acknowledge that accepting yourself can be difficult if you do not know how. Here are five simple ways to start:

1. Appreciate your uniqueness.

Like each of us, you are unique. You are one of a kind. Your life matters and it impacts the lives of others. This may seem like a very basic idea, but it is an idea that is not always easy to live by. We may know this on an intellectual level, but the message does not always penetrate to the deeper level of our minds. At a deep level we can feel disconnected and isolated. We can feel that we do not belong. When we do not feel like we belong, we find it difficult to feel connected and valued.

How can we accept ourselves? There is no magic formula. However, there are some very useful principles to keep in mind. First of all, we should remember that we are all still developing. This means that we are not perfect. Nor will we ever be. We are all imperfect, and trying to change that is a fruitless endeavour. We do not have to be perfect to accept ourselves. On the contrary, if we accept ourselves, we are more likely to want to improve. If we accept ourselves at the core, we can also accept the fact that we are constantly growing and developing and that our lives have value. When we accept ourselves, we are able to start from a place of appreciation.

2. Stop comparing yourself to others.

It is natural for us to compare ourselves to other people. We compare our appearance, intelligence, personality, skills and abilities. We compare our social status and position in life. We compare our talents, our success and our failures. We compare everything! You are you, and no one is like you. No matter how similar two people are, they are never exactly the same. They have their own thoughts, feelings, habits, behaviours and beliefs. Even if you have a twin, he or she will be different from you, even if those differences are small. And if you are the only person in the world, you still have your own unique personality, thoughts, feelings, habits, behaviours and beliefs.

3. Focus on what you have, not on what you do not have.

The more we focus on what we do not have, the more unhappy, ungrateful, and dissatisfied we become. We believe that happiness and contentment come from outside ourselves. We believe that we must have certain things to be happy and that we must meet certain standards before we can be content or happy. In fact, this is not true. Happiness and contentment come from within. It comes from our thoughts, feelings, and perceptions of the world.

The more we focus on what we do not have, the unhappier we will be. The more we focus on what we do not have, the less able we are to accept ourselves. Our self-esteem is closely linked to our ability to appreciate and accept ourselves. The more we focus on our strengths and our good points, the more we will feel good about ourselves. The more we can accept ourselves as human beings, with all our positive and negative qualities, the more we will be able to love ourselves.

4. Give yourself some breathing space.

One of the biggest challenges in life is to give ourselves the space to be ourselves. We are so busy trying to please others, live up to our responsibilities and achieve everything else in life that we forget to take care of ourselves. We forget to allow ourselves to feel and express our feelings. We may even deny our feelings and refuse to acknowledge that we have feelings at all. If this is the case, you may find it difficult to accept yourself and your feelings.

You may also find it difficult to accept your own needs and desires. We are often very hard on ourselves. If we do not give ourselves enough space, then we do not allow ourselves to be ourselves. We do not allow ourselves to be human. We do not allow ourselves to make mistakes. We do not allow ourselves to have emotions. We do not allow ourselves to fall short of our own expectations. We do not allow ourselves to have feelings of anger, anxiety or fear. We do not allow ourselves to be vulnerable. If we do not allow ourselves to be human, then it can be difficult to accept ourselves in our full humanity.

5. Focus on what is important to you.

Once we have accepted ourselves, we can begin to live a life that is in line with our values and principles. We can begin to focus on what is important to us. We can begin to focus on what we want instead of everything we think we should want. The more we focus on what is important to us, the more we will be able to accept ourselves. We will accept who we are, and we will accept what we have. We will accept our past, and we will accept our present and our future.

The more we accept ourselves, the more we can love ourselves and the more we can love others. When it comes to happiness and success in life, it is important to remember that there is no right and wrong. There is no should or should not and no right or wrong ways to be happy and successful. If we want to be happy and successful, we have to find the right path for us. We have to find a way that is in line with what is important to us and with what makes us feel good. This is the best path we can take. This is the only way that will work for us.

Download your free 21-day course in The Path of Mindfulness. In this life-changing 21-day mindfulness journey, Dr Allan Kilner-Johnson guides you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and shows you how and when to bring mindfulness into your daily life. 

Time and Attachment in Spiritual Practice

Posted on by Allan Johnson in attachment, meditation

The most common concern I hear from students is usually expressed in one of two ways. The first is, “I can’t meditate. I just can’t.” The second is a variation on the first theme, which is the idea that meditation is something you have to do every day for 30 minutes in a quiet room. In the same way that hiking can be as simple as walking up a hill to appreciate the view, or as complicated as a multi-day expedition across the Rockies, meditation can be quiet and passive, or active and challenging. In the broadest sense, meditation is a way to focus your attention, and when you can focus your attention on a single thing, you can develop that ability to an almost superhuman degree.  In fact, the goal of meditation is not to make your mind completely empty. The goal is to establish and maintain a relationship between your mind and your heart so that the two work together in tandem. When this happens, you are able to make better decisions and live a more mindful and meaningful life. 

When we begin one of the spiritual practices such as meditation or embark on a spiritual path, we may notice a change in our perception of the world around us. It is easy to interpret these changes as a loss of interest in the material world. However, there is a very important difference between materialism and material value. Materialism is attachment to material possessions, whereas material value is the idea that we can derive value from our relationship with the material world. Many people have a very fragile relationship with the material world. We can have a material relationship that is defined by attachment, or we can have a material relationship with a value system that is positive and sustaining. Material value is based on the idea that we can find value in the material world. When we are able to look past the distractions of the material world and focus our attention more on the things that really matter, we are able to find a deeper relationship with the material world that is full of supporting value.

When it comes to the spiritual path, we are often given the idea that we must detach ourselves from the world around us. The problem with this idea is that it creates a conflict between the material world and our spiritual practice. When we begin to develop a spiritual practice, we often become aware of the limitations of our body or the limitations of the material world. This conflict often leads to a kind of spiritual burn-out, where the student stops developing their inner wisdom and instead starts developing their inner intolerance toward the world around them. In meditation we are not encouraged to disconnect from the world around us. Instead, we are encouraged to connect with our inner guidance and find a deeper relationship with the universe. We can love our family, enjoy our hobbies and interests, and even enjoy being busy or working hard. When we open ourselves to our inner guidance and a deeper truth, we are able to find a deeper relationship with the material world. By being in touch with our inner guidance, we can find a deeper relationship with the material world. This deeper relationship is full of supportive values, and these values can help us to live a more fulfilling, meaningful, and purposeful life. 

The most valuable thing we possess is time. The more time we can spend in a conscious state, the more conscious time we can enjoy. The more conscious time we can enjoy, the more value we can create in our lives. When we are in a conscious state, we are able to make conscious choices, understand the choices we make and live a more conscious life. When we are not in a conscious state, we are not able to make conscious choices, understand the choices we make and live a more conscious life.

We have so much to gain by developing a stronger relationship with our inner guidance and listening to our inner wisdom. We can create a more fulfilling, meaningful, and purposeful life for ourselves. We can overcome our limitations and find the power to change. We can find peace, happiness, and fulfilment when we let our inner wisdom guide us. But we can also lose so much if we neglect our inner wisdom. We can lose our peace, happiness, and fulfilment. We can lose the ability to live our lives in alignment with the truth that we are. We can lose our dreams, our purpose, and our sense of purpose. We can lose ourselves in the world and lose the opportunity to find the deeper meaning and significance we are searching for. The more we are in touch with our inner guidance, the more we understand the impact of our thoughts and feelings on our lives. The more we understand the impact of our thoughts and emotions on our lives, the more we are able to change the things that make us unhappy, stressed or unfulfilled. The more we are able to change the things that make us feel unhappy, stressed and unfulfilled, the happier, more peaceful and fulfilled we are. 

Time is a precious commodity. We need to make a conscious decision to be in touch with our inner guidance. This is the most powerful choice we can make. When we are in touch with our inner guidance, we are able to create a more conscious life, a more fulfilling life and a life that is in harmony with the truth that we are.

Download your free 21-day course in The Path of Mindfulness. In this life-changing 21-day mindfulness journey, Dr Allan Kilner-Johnson guides you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and shows you how and when to bring mindfulness into your daily life. 

How to Begin Meditating: 4 Simple Steps to Get You Started

Posted on by Allan Johnson in habits, meditation, mindfulness

Meditation has been used for thousands of years to help people become aware of what is going on in their mind and body. Through developing this awareness we are able to take a step back and observe the thoughts that go through our mind, the feelings that arise in our body, and our reactions to events occurring around us. In mediation we learn to observe but not to judge our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours and to see how they affect the world around us and our relationships. When we learn to observe ourselves with greater awareness and clarity, we also learn to observe others with greater clarity, and we are able to bring more compassion and love into our lives. We become more aware of the impact of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours on ourselves and others, and we are able to step back and recognise patterns that we have been repeating.

When we get into the habit of observing our thoughts, our feelings, and our behaviour, we begin to understand how our actions affect others around us. Meditation is not a one-time thing. It is a way of living and a way of learning how to observe our thoughts and feelings, how to avoid getting lost in them, and how to observe these ideas and emotions without judgement. Meditation is about learning how to live with greater awareness and clarity. 

Meditation is easy to begin but takes a lifetime of practice. These four steps will help you to begin your own regular meditation practice:

  1. Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed. Get comfortable, close your eyes and begin to turn inward. You do not have to be in any particular position to meditate. Some people like to sit cross-legged and rest their hands comfortably on their knees, but you can also simply sit on a comfortable chair with your feet on the floor.
  2. When you are ready, begin to follow your breath. Take a few deep breaths, becoming aware of your breath. When you inhale, allow the breath to fill your whole body and when you exhale, allow the breath to leave your whole body. As the breath continues to flow in its own time, begin to focus on the sensations in your body. Be curious about how your body feels and how it changes from one moment to the next.
  3. Once you are familiar with your body sensations, you can begin to turn awareness to your thoughts. As you continue to be aware of the gentle movement of breath in and out, you can notice how thoughts, feelings and emotions arise and how these thoughts, feelings and emotions affect your life. You can see that thoughts and feelings are like clouds and you can watch them float by and dissipate if you just observe them.
  4. Next, begin to notice emotions as they rise within you, like the breeze blowing gently through the trees. Feel your emotions flowing through your body or filling your body as they pass through you. You can be present with yourself and allow yourself to notice and feel your reactions, accept them and be with them, understanding that they may be beyond your control.

The more often you practice meditation, the more you will learn about yourself and about your life. As you begin notice your thoughts, feelings, and reactions, you may find that they are created by the mind and that they are not solid things that can be held in our bodies. They can only be held in our mind, and when the mind stops, the thoughts and feelings stop too. Every morning is a new beginning, a fresh start to the day, a time to cleanse your mind and heart, and a time to let go of old habits and open up to new habits. By keeping this in mind you can learn to observe your reactions to stress, sadness, frustration, pain and anger and bring more compassion and love into your life, and use this compassion and love to become a better person, a better friend, a better parent, and help to create a more balanced and happier life.

Download your free 21-day course in The Path of Mindfulness. In this life-changing 21-day mindfulness journey, Dr Allan Kilner-Johnson guides you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and shows you how and when to bring mindfulness into your daily life.