Overcoming Negativity Bias and Resistance: Cultivating a Sustainable Meditation Practice

Imagine you receive an email from your boss asking you to come in or give them a call. You may feel worried or anxious and think, “What is this about? Is it something bad?” These thoughts can trigger feelings of fear, dread and anxiety, which can lead to outward behaviours such as increased heart rate, sweating or blushing. Imagine the thoughts and feelings that arise and the physical sensations in your body — discomfort or uncertainty. You may also consciously react with anger because you are expecting bad news.

Notice what happened in this thought experiment: you did not know what the boss wanted, but our minds generated automatic reactions. The lack of clarity from the boss created a feeling of uncertainty and triggered a cascade of thoughts and emotions. These emotions in turn influenced our behaviour and led to a mixture of reactions that we struggled to control. As we observed this automatic flow from thoughts to emotions to behaviours, we realised that some of our actions were out of our control, while others could be consciously controlled. This realisation clarified the intricate connection between our thoughts, feelings and actions and shed light on the way our reactions are shaped by internal and external stimuli.

Humans have a negative bias that has developed over tens of thousands of years of evolution, causing us to see the more negative option as true. This bias is a defence mechanism that prepares us for the worst-case scenario. It is deeply rooted in our subconscious and guides our thoughts and actions in various areas of life. This bias likely arose from the need to be constantly alert to potential dangers in order to ensure our survival in a world full of uncertainties, and is now reinforced by the dissemination of negative information in the media and society, shaping our perceptions and reactions to the world around us. However, if we are aware of these biases, we can consciously challenge them and balance them with positive perspectives, fostering a more realistic and resilient mindset.

In the 21st century, however, we no longer need to be guided by these automatic evolutionary reactions. A regular meditation practise helps us to detach from these deeply programmed reactions by noticing when our mind is on autopilot. When we develop mindfulness, we can observe our thoughts and emotions without automatically reacting to them. This allows us to make conscious choices and respond to situations in a more aware and considered way. Over time, the practise of meditation can bring about significant changes in our neural pathways, leading to better emotional regulation and a greater sense of inner peace. In addition, mindfulness can help us become more aware of our automatic reactions and habitual patterns. In this way, we can free ourselves from unconscious reactions and live with more awareness and authenticity.

So when we focus on centring ourselves in the present, we become more receptive to the sensations in our body, the sounds around us and the subtle changes in our environment. Through this heightened awareness, we are able to notice when our thoughts wander, gently acknowledge them and bring our attention back to the present moment and the rhythm of our breath. Each cycle of this practise serves as an exercise to strengthen our mental resilience, much like an extra repetition on a strength machine or an extra mile on the treadmill. The tools of integrative meditation act as catalysts for change, gradually reshaping our neural pathways and redefining the way our minds work. By becoming more aware of our thoughts and emotions, we begin to decode their patterns and gain insight into the inner workings of our mind, leading to a deeper understanding of ourselves and our thought processes.

Meditation is a transformative journey that goes beyond the designated time slot. It becomes an integral part of our daily routine and influences our thoughts, actions and overall well-being. Much like the careful tending of a garden, our meditation practise requires patience, dedication and nurturing. If we continue to invest time and energy into this practise, we will witness its gradual development, much like the growth of a garden over time. Just as a gardener tends to the various aspects of his garden, we nurture our meditation practise, encourage its development and reap the rewards of our persistent care and attention.

When we start something new, we go through a motivational cycle. In the beginning, we are excited and enthusiastic, full of hope and ambition, eager to master new challenges and seize new opportunities. Over time, however, it is natural for motivation to wane as the novelty wears off and we look for something new to reignite our passion and interest. This is a common phenomenon that many people face, and it often serves as a reminder to look for new sources of inspiration and fulfilment in our pursuits.

Perhaps you are noticing a resistance to your meditation practise today. Are you bored? Are you frustrated because you have to keep focussing on the object of meditation? As you deepen your meditation practise, it is normal to encounter these challenges. It can be beneficial to recognise these moments of resistance as opportunities for growth. You could experiment with different meditation techniques or incorporate a change of scenery to revitalise your practise. Remember that every moment of resistance is an opportunity to strengthen your mindfulness muscles and deepen your meditation experience. Keep exploring and stay open to developing your practise.

Simply recognise these feelings without judging them. Recognise that each emotion has a purpose and a message to convey. Take the time to sit with these feelings and allow yourself to fully experience them without feeling the need to react immediately. This mindful approach can lead to a better understanding of your emotions and give you a sense of inner peace.

These resistances often reflect how we react to challenges in our daily lives. When we are faced with adversity, our inner strength and bravery are tested and through these challenges we discover the depths of our resilience. Whether it’s a personal struggle, a professional setback or a social issue, our ability to face and overcome obstacles shapes our character and determines our path. Any resistance we encounter serves as a mirror that reflects our reactions, our coping mechanisms and our ability to grow. These moments of resistance are not only obstacles, but also opportunities for self-knowledge and empowerment.

When you begin a meditation practise, simply be aware of these obstacles. Pay attention when they arise and understand that they are natural. The first step is to notice them when they arise. It is important to face these obstacles with patience and understanding. By recognising their existence, we create the space for self-reflection and growth. As you dive deeper into your meditation practise, you may find that these obstacles reveal valuable insights about your thought patterns and emotional responses. Embracing these insights can lead to profound changes that allow you to develop a more positive and compassionate attitude. Remember that this is a journey of self-discovery and that every obstacle is an opportunity for personal development and inner resilience.


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If you want to start putting these ideas into action, you can sign up for Integrative Meditation (Level 1). This course represents the culmination of years of learning, practice, and personal growth. Integrative Meditation is a comprehensive framework designed to enhance your mental and emotional well-being. It draws on Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), positive psychology, neuroscience, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), journaling, and breathwork to support you in reducing stress, enhancing focus, building emotional resilience, and discovering your true self.

Cultivating Present Moment Awareness: Your Journey to Mindful Living

My approach to meditation is deeply rooted in the belief that we can enrich our understanding of mind and psychology by incorporating a variety of contemporary approaches and influences on meditation. This holistic approach allows us to cultivate a greater sense of contentment, joy, pleasure, and connectedness in our daily lives. By embracing various meditation techniques and principles, we can tap into a deep well of strength and establish a regular and consistent meditation practise that serves as a source of inner strength and calm.

I want you to start by imagining a really happy memory from your life— perhaps a holiday with family or friends, or a great experience you had with a partner, child, or parent. Think of one of those truly happy, transcendent moments that keep popping up in our lives, moments that we savour and are grateful for when they happen. Maybe it was a sunny day at the beach, with the waves lapping gently against the shore and a cool breeze caressing your skin. Or maybe it was a special occasion, like a birthday party full of laughter and joy, surrounded by the people you love. These moments are like treasures that we carry with us, brightening our days and reminding us of the beauty and happiness that life has to offer.

As you recall this memory, I want you to become aware of all the sensory details, all the things you perceive in this scene as you let it reappear in your mind’s eye. Try to imagine the colours, the sounds and the scents that surround you at that moment. Feel the temperature on your skin and the feelings that were stirred up inside you. Let the scene play out like a vivid film in your mind’s eye and explore every detail and feeling associated with it. Now pay attention to where your thoughts are. Is it running into the future, into a time after this event? Is it going back to something that happened before that time? Or does it really only seem to focus on that one big, happy, transcendent moment?

It’s probably focussing primarily on that one moment, because that’s what these big, happy moments do for us. They create a sense of ‘present moment awareness’, a sense that we really are in this moment. The past does exist and the future will inevitably come, but neither seems that important in this moment. This is something I call ‘time-orientation’. Our mind tends to spend a lot of time in places that are not the present. It often dwells on the past, going over memories, stories, limiting beliefs and moments of shame or embarrassment. This leads to a mindset of rumination where we replay past events. In contrast, when we experience these profound moments, it is as if time stands still and we can only focus on the beauty and joy of that particular moment. It is as if the rest of the world fades away and we are completely immersed in the blissful present. This heightened awareness and connection to the present moment can bring about a deep appreciation for the simple yet extraordinary things that happen in our daily lives and remind us to cherish every moment.

I won’t deny that the past has happened or that bad things have happened. But maybe our minds spend a little too much time there. Memories, both good and bad, can have a powerful impact on our thoughts, shaping our present and influencing our future. It is important to acknowledge the past, learn from it and then gently release it from our thoughts. Similarly, our minds can also focus excessively on the future, on things that have not yet happened. This is where anxiety arises as we visualise things that could or might happen. The unknown can be scary, but finding a balance between recognising the future and living in the present can help to lighten the burden of worry and anxiety.

Our orientation to time plays an important role in shaping our thoughts and emotions. It constantly pulls us into the past, where we brood, or into the future, where we are afraid. It is a common human experience to dwell on past mistakes or worry about the future, but these tendencies can often overshadow the richness of the present moment. When we constantly project our thoughts backwards or forwards, we miss out on the opportunities and experiences that are available in the present. By consciously focussing our attention on the here and now, we have the opportunity to fully engage with our surroundings, connect with others and enjoy the beauty of the present moment.

One of the most important tools we use to create a stronger connection to the awareness of the present moment is the so- called meditation object. A meditation object is anything that we use to focus and centre our mind — a tool that we draw upon. This can be a sound, a body sensation, a mantra or a visualisation. In this module, we will focus on the breath. When we focus on the breath, we pay attention to the rising and falling of the chest, the sensation of air flowing in and out through the nostrils, and the rhythm of inhaling and exhaling. This practise can help us to develop a sense of calm and presence as we focus our attention on the natural and constant rhythm of our breathing. By refining our ability to stay present with the breath, we develop a valuable skill that we can use in various aspects of our lives to promote mindfulness and emotional regulation.

The breath is often the best and simplest meditation object. When we focus on the sensation of the breath, we start where we are most physically aware of it. The first step is to notice how the breath moves through the nostrils, how the chest expands or how the belly rises and falls. This will serve as a starting point for the mind to return to when it begins to wander. As we continue to practise, we may find that our awareness of the breath deepens and we can observe the subtle changes in its rhythm and temperature. We may also become more sensitive to the connection between our breath and our emotional state, noticing how it can become shallow and hurried in times of stress and slow and deep in moments of calm. By regularly meditating on the breath, we can cultivate a greater sense of presence and peace and gradually train our mind to become more focussed and aware both on and off the cushion.


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This course represents the culmination of years of learning, practice, and personal growth. Integrative Meditation is a comprehensive framework designed to enhance your mental and emotional well-being. It draws on Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), positive psychology, neuroscience, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), journaling, and breathwork to support you in reducing stress, enhancing focus, building emotional resilience, and discovering your true self.

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Psychologist Carl Rogers’ Three-Step Formula to Finding Joy Every Day

What does it mean to live the ‘good life’? Is it about having a big house, the right job, the freedom of time and the energy to pursue your own goals? Our culture gives us many misleading messages about how to find happiness. More often than not, the things we think will make us happy once we get them that turn out to be false promises. We tend to subconsciously believe that happiness is only something that is possible in the future: we can only be happy when we’ve got that promotion, when we’ve gone on holiday, when we’ve completed that creative project. However, the influential American psychologist Carl Rogers encourages us to look at the good life in a slightly different way.

Rogers was a pioneering American psychologist and one of the founders of humanistic psychology, a school of thought that emerged in the mid-20th century. Humanistic psychology emphasises people’s inherent striving for self-actualization and creativity. Born in 1902, Rogers developed his theories at a time when behaviourism and psychoanalysis were the predominant paradigms in psychology. He believed that these approaches were too deterministic and didn’t take into account the subjective experience of the individual.

Rogers’ most important contribution is the development of client-centred therapy, also known as person-centred therapy. This approach is based on the idea that individuals have extensive resources at their disposal to understand themselves and change their self-concepts, attitudes, and behaviours. The role of the therapist is to create a supportive environment in which the client can discover these resources. Rogers set out his views on what constitutes the good life in his influential book On Becoming a Person. In it, he identifies three indicators of a good life, or more specifically, three steps in a process of how to achieve a good life.

An increasing openness to experience

The first step Rogers describes in finding the good life is cultivating an increasing openness to experience. As we explore new opportunities and possibilities, learn new things and create new projects, we realise how limiting and static vision of the future had been. It’s not that future plans are inherently bad; rather, our future plans tend to create a single monolithic vision of what happiness can look like for us. This singular focus can blind us to the myriad ways we can experience joy and fulfilment in the present moment.

Openness to experience means allowing the full range of our thoughts and feelings without denying or distorting them. It means being receptive to new experiences and perspectives and being willing to change and grow. This openness allows us to recognise the subtlety of sensations and feelings that arise in different contexts. By becoming more open, we begin to realise that the good life isn’t a destination, but a journey that requires constant learning and adaptation.

Increasingly existential living

The second step on the journey to the good life that Rogers points out is the increasing awareness of the existential nature of our lives. This concept may seem abstract, but it essentially means that we become more aware of the nature of our experiences. It’s about recognising how our inner emotional world interacts with our outer environment and understanding that we play a role in shaping both.

Existentialisation refers to the process of becoming more attuned to our existence and taking more responsibility for our lives. This involves recognising our freedom of choice and the responsibility that comes with it. It’s about understanding that we aren’t passive recipients of our circumstances, but active creators of our experiences. By expanding our awareness and taking responsibility for our actions, we begin to live more authentically and meaningfully.

Increasing trust in our own body

The third and final indicator of a good life, according to Rogers, is a growing trust in our own bodies. This doesn’t only mean our physical body, which is of course an important part, but also all functions and aspects of the body, such as our gut feeling, intuitive insights, and the feeling of physical affirmation.

Rogers emphasises how important it is to listen to our bodies and trust the signals it sends us. This includes recognising whether we’re rejecting something because it’s unfamiliar to us or whether we’re rejecting it because it’s really bad for us. It also means recognising the subtle difference between knowledge and belief, intellect and wisdom, and faith and blind trust. By trusting our bodies, we become more sensitive to our needs and desires and can make choices that are in alignment with our true selves.


These three characteristics of the good life — openness to experience, expansion and existentialisation, and trust in our bodies— have no final end point or destination. They are an expression of a continuous process that unfolds over time. The more open we become to experience, the more aware we become of our existence and the more trust we have in our bodies, the more we embark on a journey of self-discovery and growth.

Spiritual practises such as meditation, yoga, tai chi, and ritual can be incredibly important tools on this journey. Working with therapists, coaches, and spiritual teachers can also provide valuable support and guidance. The good life is not about accumulating material possessions or achieving external success. Instead, it is an alchemical state of being, a dynamic process in which we learn to shape our experience of the world so that it is authentic and fulfilling.

Rogers’ perspective on the good life challenges us to look beyond societal expectations and external achievements. By increasing our openness to experience, expanding our awareness of our existence and trusting our own bodies, we can cultivate a richer, more meaningful life. The good life is not a static destination, but an ongoing journey of self-discovery and growth guided by our inner wisdom and supported by our outer practises.


In The Path of Mindful Living: A 21-Day Mindfulness Companion, I lead you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and show you how to bring mindfulness into your daily life. 

Readers of Integrative Creativity can download the workbook and pullout charts for only £6

5 Steps to Develop a Daily Meditation Practice: Tips from an Integrative Coach and Meditation Teacher

Meditation has been practised for thousands of years and is becoming increasingly popular in today’s society as a means of reducing stress, increasing concentration and improving general well-being. However, establishing a consistent meditation practise can be challenging, especially for beginners. As an integrative coach and meditation teacher, I have worked with many people to develop a daily meditation practise, and I have found that there are five essential steps to successfully building this habit.

Step 1: Set an Intention

The first step in developing a daily meditation practise is to set an intention. This involves identifying the reason for your meditation and setting a clear, specific goal for your practise. Without a clear intention, it can be difficult to stay motivated and focused on your meditation practise.

To set an intention, take some time to think about why you want to meditate. Do you want to reduce stress? Improve concentration? Increase self-awareness? Once you have found your reason for meditating, set a clear, specific goal for your practise. For example, you might decide to meditate for 10 minutes every morning before you start your day.

Setting an intention can also mean creating a ritual or ceremony around your meditation practise. For example, you could light a candle or burn incense before you meditate to signal the start of your practise. This can help create a sense of sacredness and importance around your practise, making it easier to maintain over time.

Step 2: Choose a Time and Place

The second step in developing a daily meditation practise is to choose a set time and place for your practise. This helps to develop a routine and makes it easier to maintain the practise over a longer period of time.

When choosing a time for your practise, consider your schedule and choose a time that works best for you. Some people prefer to meditate first thing in the morning, while others find it helpful to meditate during their lunch break or in the evening before going to bed. The key is to choose a time that is realistic and sustainable for you.

When choosing a place for your practise, pick a quiet, comfortable space that is suitable for meditation. This could be a spare room in your home, a quiet corner in your office or a park bench in a nearby park. Whatever place you choose, make sure it is one where you feel calm and relaxed.

Step 3: Start Small and Build Consistency

The third step in developing a daily meditation practise is to start small and develop consistency over time. It is better to meditate for a few minutes every day than for an hour once a week.

Start with a realistic goal, such as five minutes of meditation a day, and increase the duration of your practise over time. This encourages consistency and makes it easier to stick with the practise in the long term.

To encourage consistency, set reminders or use a meditation app to track your progress. You could also consider keeping a diary to reflect on your experience and document your progress over time.

Step 4: Experiment with Different Techniques

The fourth step in developing a daily meditation practise is to experiment with different techniques. There are many different meditation techniques and it is important to find one that suits you.

Some popular meditation techniques are mindfulness meditation, loving kindness meditation and body scan meditation. Each of these techniques requires you to focus your attention in a different way, and it is important to experiment to find the technique that suits you best.

Try different techniques and see how they feel. You may find that you enjoy one technique more than others, or you may find that different techniques work better at different times of the day or in different situations.

Step 5: Seek Support and Accountability

The fifth and final step in developing a daily meditation practise is to seek support and accountability. Meditation can be a solitary practise, but it is important to seek support and accountability to stay motivated and consistent.

One way to seek support is to join an online meditation community or attend a local meditation group. These communities provide a space where you can connect with others who are also meditating, share your experiences and receive guidance and support.

Another way to find support is to find an accountability partner. This can be a friend, family member or colleague who is also interested in developing a daily meditation practise. You can regularly update each other, share your progress and encourage and support each other.

There are also many meditation apps that offer guided meditations, progress tracking and other features to help you stay on track with your practise. Some of the most popular apps include Headspace, Calm and Insight Timer.

In summary, developing a daily meditation practise requires intention, consistency and support. By setting a clear intention, choosing a consistent time and place, starting small and building consistency, experimenting with different techniques, and seeking support and accountability, you can develop a regular meditation habit that will promote your overall well-being. Remember that developing a daily meditation practise is a journey, and it is important to be patient and compassionate with yourself along the way. There may be days when your practise feels difficult or uncomfortable, and that is okay. What matters is that you stay true to your intention and continue to show up for your practise every day. Meditation is an effective way to reduce stress, increase concentration and improve your overall well-being. By following these five steps, you can develop a daily meditation practise that will benefit your physical, mental and emotional health.


In The Path of Mindful Living: A 21-Day Mindfulness Companion, I lead you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and show you how to bring mindfulness into your daily life. Readers of my blog can download the workbook and pullout charts for only £6.

The Spiritual Paradox: Happiness in the Present and Vision for the Future

In The Paradox of Intention, Marvin Shaw writes about the challenges of maintaining happiness in the present moment while sustaining a vision for a better future. As Shaw notes, this spiritual paradox underlies many spiritual and philosophical traditions, including Stoicism, Taoism, and psychotherapy. After practicing things like yoga meditation for some time, one begins to recognise a paradox: these spiritual practices help us to realise the value of the present moment, even though we know that we also want to keep growing in the future.

We often experience this paradox when we are still very attached to our own ideas of how we would like the future to be and continue to subtly resist the idea that the ‘now’ will provide us with everything we need. For many people, this resistance leads to a deep concern that by seeing the present moment as perfect and complete, they will lose motivation to move forward and, even worse, lose sight of what a better future could look like for themselves and those around them.

We can begin to recognise this resistance within ourselves by noticing that we tend to talk ourselves out of feeling like we are on the right track. We may feel we are going in a good direction and then our inner critics swoops in with a misguided attempt to protect us from disappointment in the future. 

But what happens when we learn to hold on to the simultaneous truth that everything is perfect and that everything can also get better? 

The practise of non-attachment does not mean that we should not value the future; it means that we should not become overly attached to it. We need to learn to value the present moment, even though we should absolutely hope that we will continue to grow and change in the future. This all sounds difficult because it is. Many of our motivations and thoughts come from conditioning and past experiences. However, when we become aware of our inner experiences, we can begin to recognise them for what they are before our conditioning and past experiences have had a chance to take hold.

When we are aware of the spiritual paradox – that everything is perfect and that everything can be better – we can begin to give space to the desire for growth and change, giving value to the present moment as the perfect time for development and change. 

Our deep desire to grow and evolve can sometimes become a strong attachment to the future and an obstacle to living in the present moment. The future is not a fixed quantity or constant. It is constantly evolving and therefore can only emerge through our actions in the present and our connection to the ‘now’. We can begin to develop a more secure attachment to ourselves by reflecting on the following questions:

  • Why do I find it difficult to acknowledge the present moment as perfect while maintaining a desire to continue to grow?
  • To what extent do I lack confidence in my ability to continue to grow and change?
  • How do I experience my desire to keep growing and changing?
  • In what ways are my desires and needs different in the present than in the future?
  • In what ways am I averse to the present moment?
  • How do I experience my vulnerability when I am alone?
  • What are some examples of my resistance to the present moment?

The spiritual practice of non-attachment can help us realise that the perfect time for development and change is right now. It is not that we will have the answers, but that we are in the present moment experiencing change, learning and improving. Non-attachment means that we are able to be at peace with life even when we do not get what we want. 

By appreciating the present moment, we can realise that we often try to reconstruct the past so that we can feel better in the present. It is possible to develop a new view of the world that is more real and true. We can allow ourselves to see things as they are without having to see them as they should be or as we think they should look.


Download your free 21-day course in The Path of Mindfulness. In this life-changing 21-day mindfulness journey, Dr Allan Kilner-Johnson guides you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and shows you how and when to bring mindfulness into your daily life.