What does it mean to live the ‘good life’? Is it about having a big house, the right job, the freedom of time and the energy to pursue your own goals? Our culture gives us many misleading messages about how to find happiness. More often than not, the things we think will make us happy once we get them that turn out to be false promises. We tend to subconsciously believe that happiness is only something that is possible in the future: we can only be happy when we’ve got that promotion, when we’ve gone on holiday, when we’ve completed that creative project. However, the influential American psychologist Carl Rogers encourages us to look at the good life in a slightly different way.
Rogers was a pioneering American psychologist and one of the founders of humanistic psychology, a school of thought that emerged in the mid-20th century. Humanistic psychology emphasises people’s inherent striving for self-actualization and creativity. Born in 1902, Rogers developed his theories at a time when behaviourism and psychoanalysis were the predominant paradigms in psychology. He believed that these approaches were too deterministic and didn’t take into account the subjective experience of the individual.
Rogers’ most important contribution is the development of client-centred therapy, also known as person-centred therapy. This approach is based on the idea that individuals have extensive resources at their disposal to understand themselves and change their self-concepts, attitudes, and behaviours. The role of the therapist is to create a supportive environment in which the client can discover these resources. Rogers set out his views on what constitutes the good life in his influential book On Becoming a Person. In it, he identifies three indicators of a good life, or more specifically, three steps in a process of how to achieve a good life.
An increasing openness to experience
The first step Rogers describes in finding the good life is cultivating an increasing openness to experience. As we explore new opportunities and possibilities, learn new things and create new projects, we realise how limiting and static vision of the future had been. It’s not that future plans are inherently bad; rather, our future plans tend to create a single monolithic vision of what happiness can look like for us. This singular focus can blind us to the myriad ways we can experience joy and fulfilment in the present moment.
Openness to experience means allowing the full range of our thoughts and feelings without denying or distorting them. It means being receptive to new experiences and perspectives and being willing to change and grow. This openness allows us to recognise the subtlety of sensations and feelings that arise in different contexts. By becoming more open, we begin to realise that the good life isn’t a destination, but a journey that requires constant learning and adaptation.
Increasingly existential living
The second step on the journey to the good life that Rogers points out is the increasing awareness of the existential nature of our lives. This concept may seem abstract, but it essentially means that we become more aware of the nature of our experiences. It’s about recognising how our inner emotional world interacts with our outer environment and understanding that we play a role in shaping both.
Existentialisation refers to the process of becoming more attuned to our existence and taking more responsibility for our lives. This involves recognising our freedom of choice and the responsibility that comes with it. It’s about understanding that we aren’t passive recipients of our circumstances, but active creators of our experiences. By expanding our awareness and taking responsibility for our actions, we begin to live more authentically and meaningfully.
Increasing trust in our own body
The third and final indicator of a good life, according to Rogers, is a growing trust in our own bodies. This doesn’t only mean our physical body, which is of course an important part, but also all functions and aspects of the body, such as our gut feeling, intuitive insights, and the feeling of physical affirmation.
Rogers emphasises how important it is to listen to our bodies and trust the signals it sends us. This includes recognising whether we’re rejecting something because it’s unfamiliar to us or whether we’re rejecting it because it’s really bad for us. It also means recognising the subtle difference between knowledge and belief, intellect and wisdom, and faith and blind trust. By trusting our bodies, we become more sensitive to our needs and desires and can make choices that are in alignment with our true selves.
These three characteristics of the good life — openness to experience, expansion and existentialisation, and trust in our bodies— have no final end point or destination. They are an expression of a continuous process that unfolds over time. The more open we become to experience, the more aware we become of our existence and the more trust we have in our bodies, the more we embark on a journey of self-discovery and growth.
Spiritual practises such as meditation, yoga, tai chi, and ritual can be incredibly important tools on this journey. Working with therapists, coaches, and spiritual teachers can also provide valuable support and guidance. The good life is not about accumulating material possessions or achieving external success. Instead, it is an alchemical state of being, a dynamic process in which we learn to shape our experience of the world so that it is authentic and fulfilling.
Rogers’ perspective on the good life challenges us to look beyond societal expectations and external achievements. By increasing our openness to experience, expanding our awareness of our existence and trusting our own bodies, we can cultivate a richer, more meaningful life. The good life is not a static destination, but an ongoing journey of self-discovery and growth guided by our inner wisdom and supported by our outer practises.
In The Path of Mindful Living: A 21-Day Mindfulness Companion, I lead you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and show you how to bring mindfulness into your daily life.
Readers of Integrative Creativity can download the workbook and pullout charts for only £6.
