Learning to develop self-compassion is an essential part of integrative therapy. Integrative therapy aims to treat the whole person — body, mind and spirit — using a variety of therapeutic approaches. It recognises that each person is unique and that there is no single approach to therapy. Integrative therapy is also often described as a ‘holistic’ approach, meaning that it considers all aspects of a person’s life, including their physical health, emotional wellbeing, relationships, and spirituality.
Self-compassion is an important aspect of integrative therapy because it enables people to deal with difficult feelings and negative thoughts that might impact upon all areas of their lives. It is about treating oneself with the same kindness, appreciation and understanding that one would show a good friend. In this way, the individual can accept their shortcomings and faults, leading to greater self-knowledge and self-acceptance. When individuals treat themselves with kindness and understanding, they are more motivated to make positive changes in their lives.
People who are kind to themselves are better able to deal with setbacks and challenges. They are also less likely to be overwhelmed by negative feelings because they have developed skills to manage their thoughts and feelings in a healthy way. For example, people who have learned to practise self-compassion can recognise when they are feeling stressed or anxious and take action to take care of themselves, such as by taking deep breaths, taking a break or seeking support from others.
Developing self-compassion is especially important for people who struggle with anxiety and depression. These people often suffer from negative self-talk and self-criticism, which can exacerbate their symptoms and make recovery more difficult. Integrative therapy approaches that focus on self-compassion can help sufferers break free from these patterns and learn to be kind to themselves. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), for example, is a form of therapy that has been shown to be effective in treating anxiety and depression. CBT helps individuals to identify and challenge negative thoughts and replace them with more positive, self-compassionate thoughts.
Another benefit of self-compassion is that it helps people build closer relationships with others. When people are kind to themselves, they are more likely to be kind to others. They are also more likely to attract positive people into their lives because they radiate positivity and self-love. Integrative therapy approaches that focus on self-compassion, such as acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), can help people develop more empathy and compassion for others. ACT teaches people to accept their thoughts and feelings without judgement and to act in accordance with their values, even in the face of difficult emotions.
Integrative therapy approaches that focus on self-compassion often include mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) techniques. Mindfulness means paying attention to the present moment without judging it. By practising mindfulness, individuals can become more aware of their thoughts and feelings and learn to respond to them in a non-judgmental, compassionate way. This can help the individual to free themselves from negative thought patterns and develop more self-awareness and self-acceptance.
Integrative therapists can help their clients develop self-compassion by teaching them mindfulness techniques, encouraging self-care and reframing negative thoughts. For example, an integrative therapist can help a client recognise negative self-talk and reframe it in a more positive, self-compassionate way. The therapist can also encourage the client to take care of themselves, get enough rest, eat well and engage in activities that they enjoy.
In The Path of Mindful Living: A 21-Day Mindfulness Companion, I lead you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and show you how to bring mindfulness into your daily life. Readers of my blog can download the workbook and pullout charts for only £6.
