Allan Johnson

Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Limiting Beliefs

Posted on March 5, 2023 by Allan Johnson in Psychosynthesis

Self-sabotage and limiting beliefs are common obstacles that can prevent us from achieving our goals and living the life we want. Self-sabotaging behaviours such as procrastination, self-criticism and avoidance can keep us stuck in a cycle of negative thinking and inaction, while limiting beliefs such as ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I don’t deserve success’ can undermine our confidence and self-worth.

Self-sabotage behaviours can take many forms, but they all share the common characteristic of undermining our progress towards achieving our goals. For example, we may set high goals for ourselves but then procrastinate or avoid taking action. Or we may practise self-criticism and engage in negative self-talk that reinforces a sense of inadequacy or imposter syndrome. These behaviours can be self-defeating and make us feel stuck and unfulfilled.

Limiting beliefs, on the other hand, are deeply held beliefs about ourselves that hold us back and prevent us from realising our full potential. They can have their roots in childhood experiences, social conditioning or negative self-talk. Common limiting beliefs include thoughts such as ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I’m not smart enough’, or ‘I don’t deserve happiness’. These beliefs can be persistent and lead us to settle for less than we really want in life.

To overcome self-sabotage and limiting beliefs, it’s important to understand the underlying causes. Self-sabotage can be due to fear of failure, lack of self-confidence or motivation, or the belief that we aren’t capable or don’t deserve success. Limiting beliefs may have their roots in childhood experiences or negative self-talk that reinforces a negative self-image.

For example, if we grew up with critical or unsupportive caregivers, we may have internalised messages of inadequacy or low self-worth. If we have experienced failure or setbacks in the past, we may feel that we aren’t capable of achieving our goals. By identifying the causes of our self-sabotage and limiting beliefs, we can challenge and reframe these thought patterns.

There are a number of strategies that can help us overcome self-sabotage and limiting beliefs. Here are some examples:

Cognitive restructuring: cognitive restructuring is about identifying and challenging negative thought patterns and replacing them with more positive, realistic thoughts. For example, if we tend to think ‘I’ll never be able to achieve this goal’, we can change this thought to “I may encounter obstacles along the way, but I can take steps to overcome them and achieve my goal”
Behavioural interventions: Behavioural interventions include concrete steps to change our behaviour and overcome self-sabotage patterns. For example, if we’re prone to procrastination, we can set specific deadlines and break tasks into smaller, manageable steps.
Mindfulness and self-compassion practises: Mindfulness and self-compassion practises can help us develop greater self-awareness and acceptance and reduce the impact of negative self-talk. For example, we can practise self-compassion by treating ourselves with kindness and understanding when we make mistakes or experience setbacks.
Recognise and challenge negative self-talk: Negative self-talk can reinforce self-sabotage and limiting beliefs, and it’s important to recognise and challenge these thoughts. For example, if we tend to think ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I don’t deserve happiness’, we can challenge these thoughts by asking ourselves for evidence that supports or contradicts these beliefs.
Visualisation and positive affirmations: Visualisation and positive affirmations can help us cultivate a more positive self-image and strengthen our sense of our abilities and worth. For example, we can visualise ourselves successfully achieving our goals, or repeat positive affirmations such as ‘I’m capable and deserving of success.’

Overcoming self-sabotage and limiting beliefs is a difficult but essential part of personal growth and development. By identifying the causes of these patterns and using strategies such as cognitive restructuring, behavioural interventions, mindfulness and positive affirmations, we can begin to change the way we think and overcome self-defeating thoughts and behaviours. It’s important to consult a therapist or coach if you’re struggling with self-sabotage or limiting beliefs, as they can provide you with additional tools and insights to help you achieve your goals and live a fulfilling life. Remember: you’re capable and deserve to be successful and happy, and with the right attitude and support, you can overcome any obstacle in your path.

In The Path of Mindful Living: A 21-Day Mindfulness Companion, I lead you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and show you how to bring mindfulness into your daily life. Readers of my blog can download the workbook and pullout charts for only £6.

How We Construct Reality Through Language

Posted on February 11, 2023 by Allan Johnson in Psychosynthesis

We humans have the unique ability to reshape the world around us through stories. The stories that our family and society tell us about our origins, other people and our place in the world provide a framework that we use to process and interpret our experiences. Unfortunately, these stories can be harmful and disempower us, making us feel insignificant, worthless and unable to even trust ourselves. However, if we are able to take control of the stories we are told and the stories we tell ourselves, they can become powerful tools that enable us to build a better future for ourselves and those around us.

Humans have a remarkable ability to recognise patterns, to recognise regularities and to draw conclusions from them. The stories we make up about ourselves, about others, about the past and about the future show that pattern recognition is an essential part of our conscious experience. Our ability to recognise patterns enables us to understand the world around us and predict what might happen in the future. It also enables us to understand our own lives and the lives of those around us. By paying attention to the stories we tell ourselves, each other and modern life, we can become more mindful and live in the present moment.

Our past experiences form the basis of our identity, and this identity is constantly changing and evolving as we gain more knowledge and understanding of the world around us. Each of us carries a unique mantle of beliefs and memories that we use to interpret the world around us. As our stories evolve, so do our perceptions, realities and identities.

Since the Axial Age, many scholars have reflected on the mysterious relationship between words and reality, reminding us again and again that we often forget that the word is not the world. The Indian grammarian Pini wrote the Astadhayayi, the first systematic work on grammar and language, to decipher the logical rules that shape language. This was a defining moment in human history, for he showed that human language is not a divinely ordained code, but rather an organic result of evolution. Pini and other ancient grammarians brought in a new level of perspective and awareness and made us aware of the power of words. Language is a powerful tool that enables us to interpret and make sense of our world.

When we understand how we construct stories from words, we can begin to realise our place in the universe. The great grammarian Dionysius Thrax of Alexandria made a startling discovery about human language: depending on its role in a sentence, a word changes shape. In fact, the rules of language change from one moment to the next – not only over time, but also within the same context. Thus, language is a sensitive indicator of the time and place in which we live. In modern times, Ludwig Wittgenstein, in his Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus, put forward the idea that ‘the limits of my language mean the limits of my world’, suggesting that what we can see depends on the metaphors, analogies, and explanations available to us.

We have the power to change our world through the stories we tell ourselves. Language gives us the ability to explain and comprehend reality by creating symbols to represent what is and reshape it according to our imagination. Wittgenstein’s realisation that language is different from thought has immense consequences. Our minds are filled with a cacophony of sensory impressions, but when we try to translate them into language, this chaotic brew is tamed into linear narratives. No wonder, then, that we sometimes find it difficult to express our feelings, even when we have experienced something extraordinary or terrible. But if we want to bring it into the human world, we first have to put the experience into words, and that can take time. Ultimately, language is a tool with remarkable strengths, but also with inherent limitations.

No two languages are alike – each is a unique window into a particular worldview, with its own concepts, vocabulary and ways of categorising the world. Through Saussure and structuralism, we began to understand that language is not just a collection of symbols, but a complicated system of abstract rules. Even though we believe our words are set in stone, the structure of language allows its meaning to change over time. The paradox raised by Saussure is that we can continue to communicate when language is constantly in flux. We all participate in this process, but our individual contributions are different – language is a collective story, and each of us is a character in that narrative. This means that every day we are all involved in a collective project to develop and refine our language. Through language we can understand how to reshape reality and even create new realities. So we should ensure that our own contributions to this ongoing story are meaningful and constructive – because the true power of language lies not only in its ability to shape reality, but also in its potential to change it.

Although language plays an essential role in our lives and thought processes, it does not tell us the whole story. Meanings are quite ephemeral, constantly changing and rarely unambiguous. This is because meaning is a constantly evolving process that requires attentive and skilful use to function properly. Words are indeed powerful transmitters of meaning, but they are not the only ones. Images, symbols and icons are also carriers of meaning, often crossing cultural boundaries and providing a common language of understanding. They serve as a link between language and something else, which means they can help bridge the gap between cultures that do not share a common language.

Everything in the world is a story – and we are the authors. It is our duty and desire to understand ourselves and the world as deeply as possible. Stories shape our reality, but they do not directly reflect reality. Ideas, beliefs, stories and knowledge reflect our constructed reality; they are built on a foundation of truth that we all possess. We have the power to question our stories, to recognise their illusory nature and lack of substance. Our inner wisdom gives us the power to build a solid, true and authentic reality by understanding the wisdom of not knowing. We construct our own story about who we are and how we experience the world – and only through purposeful introspection can we manifest this reality. This is the ultimate goal of language, to communicate our unique story to the world.

Unlock Your Potential with Integrative Coaching

Posted on February 4, 2023 by Allan Johnson in Psychosynthesis

Are you looking for a way to improve your life and achieve your goals? Integrative coaching is the perfect solution. This holistic coaching approach takes into account each individual’s unique circumstances while focusing on personal development and growth. Integrative coaches use a variety of techniques and approaches to help individuals understand the underlying issues that are holding them back from achieving their goals. Setting realistic and achievable goals is an important part of integrative coaching. With the help of a coach, individuals can set and determine clear, measurable objectives to move them closer to their desired outcomes. A concrete direction and sense of purpose can help keep the individual focused and motivated in pursuing their goals.

Do you want to set goals and achieve them? Integrative coaching can help you do that. This type of coaching involves creating a plan that outlines the steps needed to achieve your goals. You also set milestones to track your progress and note possible obstacles along the way. Your coach will encourage you to stay accountable and focused until you reach your goals to ensure you stay on track and make continuous process. Integrative coaching is a powerful tool to help people achieve their goals. Whether it’s internal obstacles such as self-doubt, limiting beliefs and lack of motivation, or external issues such as a busy schedule, financial constraints or lack of support from family and friends, integrative coaching can help you identify and overcome whatever is standing in your way.

Integrative coaching not only helps people overcome obstacles, but also enables them to build resilience–mental and emotional strength–to overcome challenges and setbacks on the path to success. If you’re looking for a way to achieve your goals faster and more effectively, this is the perfect solution. The coach works with the individual to cultivate a growth-oriented approach to life – and to see challenging circumstances as opportunities for personal development. This can be achieved by teaching practical coping strategies such as mindfulness, self-care and positive self-talk that help build emotional resilience. With these tools, individuals can cope with difficult times and realise their maximum potential.

Finally, with integrative coaching, individuals can develop long-term and sustainable habits and routines that help them achieve their goals. An experienced coach will work with you to identify your individual triggers and create a roadmap that effectively supports your progress. With a solid plan, you’ll be well on your way to achieving all your goals! For example, the coach can work with you to develop a morning routine that sets the tone for the day, or create a self-care plan that includes activities to help relieve stress and give you energy. If you’re looking for a way to stay on track, invest in a life coach today!

Integrative coaching is an effective tool for people who want to make a lasting change and achieve their goals. It takes a comprehensive approach that helps people identify obstacles, build resilience and develop habits that help them achieve the results they want. Are you looking for a strategy to help you achieve your goals and move forward in life? Integrative coaching could be the answer. With the right support and guidance, you can unlock your highest potential and realise the success you have always strived for. Realise your full potential today – discover how integrative coaching can help you succeed!

What Causes Imposter Syndrome and How Do You Get Through It?

Posted on August 22, 2022August 20, 2022 by Allan Johnson in wellbeing

Imposter syndrome refers to the belief that a person is not as intelligent or successful as they are perceived to be by others. Imposter syndrome often affects people who are very successful or high achievers in their field of work. People who have high levels of internalised imposter feelings may feel that they have cheated in some way to get where they are in lifeor that they are only considered competent in a job or relationship because of luck or external factors. These feelings can lead to anxiety, an overwhelming desire to please others, and a constant fear of being found out.

The term was first coined by Suzanne Imes and Pauline Clance 50 years ago, but seems to have become more widespread in recent years. A person suffering from imposter syndrome is usually unable to internalise their achievements and feels that they are actually just a ‘fraud’ or ‘imposter’ and do not deserve their success. Although people with imposter syndrome know they are intelligent and capable, they feel they are a fraud and do not deserve their success.

There seems to be an evolutionary explanation for imposter syndrome. To the human mind, a social risk such as shame or embarrassment is perceived in the same way as a physical risk, because for our earliest ancestors, exclusion from the tribe was tantamount to death. So humans have an innate tendency to be alert to social judgements and threats of shame, and, in many ways, the imposter syndrome is a form of self-protection.

However, this does not mean that we have to be guided by mental models developed for the hunter-gatherer age. Imposter syndrome makes us more cautious, less willing to take risks, and more inclined to stay in our comfort zone. This is good to a certain extent, but in many cases imposter syndrome can become a limiting belief that prevents us from doing things that might challenge us and help us grow. It becomes problematic when our self-protective mechanisms become so extreme that they actually put us at risk of failure and self-sabotage.

Instead of resisting the experience of imposter syndrome, we need to learn to accept it. When we experience imposter syndrome, we can mitigate our experience by recognising that it is part of a larger process, that we are vulnerable, and that as human beings we are particularly vulnerable to anxiety. When we suffer from imposter syndrome, we need to expand to a larger reality by accessing the inner strength and resources we can draw from to feel more confident, manage our fears and expand our comfort zone. As human beings, we need to be able to make mistakes and be imperfect because that is the only way we can learn and grow. When we are able to remember our humanity and our ability to bounce back, we can begin to take responsibility for our experiences.

To break the cycle of imposter syndrome, we need to introduce new beliefs and new ways of thinking. It is important to recognise that imposter syndrome is a perception, a story and a belief we tell ourselves about the world. Imposter syndrome is an illusion, a drive triggered by fear and self-doubt, and it is temporary. When we experience imposter syndrome, we need to take a step back, take a breath, reflect and engage with our bodies. We do not have to believe our thoughts and stories unquestioningly. Instead, we can explore the nature of our mind and realise that the moment we question our automatic reactions, we make space for something else. Once we recognise imposter syndrome for what it is, we can begin to let go of our negative relationship to it.

The key to being less vulnerable to imposter syndrome is to become aware of the beliefs and stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and our world. Part of the illusion that imposter syndrome creates is that we downplay all the smaller achievements we make every day. When we suffer from imposter syndrome, we do not allow ourselves to acknowledge our own achievements because we simply do not believe them. We ignore the small acts of courage and strength we perform every day and fail to recognise the extent to which we help others. It is not always the big, obvious achievements that matter most. Very often it is the small, everyday successes that show us that we are constantly growing and developing. We can begin to break the cycle of imposter syndrome by looking for evidence of our competence and intelligence, even in the smallest things. When imposter syndrome sets in, acknowledge the invisible accomplishments that others do not see.

Imposter syndrome is a self-protective mechanism, but we can change it. When we expand to a greater reality of our own achievements, we have the opportunity to replace the imposter story with new stories that empower us. We can use the power of these new stories to support, protect and nurture us. We can encourage ourselves with stories of our courage, resilience, kindness and authenticity. These are the stories that help us cultivate the self-compassion, self-confidence and courage we need to overcome imposter syndrome.

Download your free 21-day course in The Path of Mindfulness. In this life-changing 21-day mindfulness journey, Dr Allan Kilner-Johnson guides you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and shows you how and when to bring mindfulness into your daily life.

The Spiritual Paradox: Happiness in the Present and Vision for the Future

Posted on July 19, 2022August 20, 2022 by Allan Johnson in Observations

In The Paradox of Intention, Marvin Shaw writes about the challenges of maintaining happiness in the present moment while sustaining a vision for a better future. As Shaw notes, this spiritual paradox underlies many spiritual and philosophical traditions, including Stoicism, Taoism, and psychotherapy. After practicing things like yoga meditation for some time, one begins to recognise a paradox: these spiritual practices help us to realise the value of the present moment, even though we know that we also want to keep growing in the future.

We often experience this paradox when we are still very attached to our own ideas of how we would like the future to be and continue to subtly resist the idea that the ‘now’ will provide us with everything we need. For many people, this resistance leads to a deep concern that by seeing the present moment as perfect and complete, they will lose motivation to move forward and, even worse, lose sight of what a better future could look like for themselves and those around them.

We can begin to recognise this resistance within ourselves by noticing that we tend to talk ourselves out of feeling like we are on the right track. We may feel we are going in a good direction and then our inner critics swoops in with a misguided attempt to protect us from disappointment in the future.

But what happens when we learn to hold on to the simultaneous truth that everything is perfect and that everything can also get better?

The practise of non-attachment does not mean that we should not value the future; it means that we should not become overly attached to it. We need to learn to value the present moment, even though we should absolutely hope that we will continue to grow and change in the future. This all sounds difficult because it is. Many of our motivations and thoughts come from conditioning and past experiences. However, when we become aware of our inner experiences, we can begin to recognise them for what they are before our conditioning and past experiences have had a chance to take hold.

When we are aware of the spiritual paradox – that everything is perfect and that everything can be better – we can begin to give space to the desire for growth and change, giving value to the present moment as the perfect time for development and change.

Our deep desire to grow and evolve can sometimes become a strong attachment to the future and an obstacle to living in the present moment. The future is not a fixed quantity or constant. It is constantly evolving and therefore can only emerge through our actions in the present and our connection to the ‘now’. We can begin to develop a more secure attachment to ourselves by reflecting on the following questions:

Why do I find it difficult to acknowledge the present moment as perfect while maintaining a desire to continue to grow?
To what extent do I lack confidence in my ability to continue to grow and change?
How do I experience my desire to keep growing and changing?
In what ways are my desires and needs different in the present than in the future?
In what ways am I averse to the present moment?
How do I experience my vulnerability when I am alone?
What are some examples of my resistance to the present moment?

The spiritual practice of non-attachment can help us realise that the perfect time for development and change is right now. It is not that we will have the answers, but that we are in the present moment experiencing change, learning and improving. Non-attachment means that we are able to be at peace with life even when we do not get what we want.

By appreciating the present moment, we can realise that we often try to reconstruct the past so that we can feel better in the present. It is possible to develop a new view of the world that is more real and true. We can allow ourselves to see things as they are without having to see them as they should be or as we think they should look.