Author: Allan Johnson

Self-Compassion and Unconscious Contracts

Posted on by Allan Johnson in compassion, mindfulness

It’s extraordinary the number of positive changes that come to us as we begin to connect more fully to an expression of compassion and kindness. I don’t mean only compassion and kindness towards others, but also self-compassion and feelings of compassion and kindness towards ourselves that enable us to live openly and freely.  As we move through our day-to-day activities we have a tendency to operate through a series of what the British economist Michael Allingham called unconscious contracts. Unconscious contracts are systems of rules, regulations, and expectations that we unconsciously set for those in our immediate sphere and subsequently expect them to follow.  Unconscious contracts that we set with others, for instance, might be that one should not block the aisle with their shopping trolley or that parents should raise their children in a certain way.  But the most important thing about unconscious contracts is that these are fundamentally systems of power that we apply to others without their understanding or awareness. 

We also form a complex network of unconscious contracts with ourselves.  We might, for instance, have created an unconscious contract with ourselves that we must never be wrong, or that we must always be perfect, or that we must always be the first to speak, or that we must never speak in a large group.  If we don’t begin to identity and question the unconscious contracts we have set with ourselves that might limit certain behaviours or overemphasise behaviours that are not supportive to us and those around us, we begin to lose sight of our own compassionate connection to ourselves and can find it increasingly difficult to move through our lives freely.  

In order to bring positive change in the world around us, one of the first things that we must do is enter into a compassionate relationship with ourselves by identifying ways in which we might begin to dismantle the power of these unconscious contracts with ourselves. And in the same way that self-compassion can be further developed by recognising the unconscious contracts that we have developed, so too are we able to develop a more positive, compassionate and kind relationship to others by recognising the unconscious contracts that we have set with them. Compassion toward others begins with compassion toward self.

Martin Buber, the great twentieth-century philosopher, writes about ‘I and thou’ relationships. Very often we operate from a position of ‘I and it’ relationships where we view the other people as an object, but in ‘I and thou’ relationships we’re speaking from our highest self to their highest self rather than applying unconscious rules and expectations to either them or to ourselves. Through stripping away all of the challenges created by unconscious contracts, we’re able to bring about more positive changes in our own lives and in the society around us.

The Mindfulness Principles

Posted on by Allan Johnson in meditation, mindfulness

Mindfulness doesn’t merely teach us to centre our minds in the present, but to powerful reorient ourselves to the full timeline of our lived experiences.   In doing so, we learn to recognise our experiences of the world around us in powerfully transformative ways.  While some may start with the concern that mindfulness is a selfish turn inward that removes them from the facts and realities of the world, that inward turn is only for a moment—the ultimate aim of mindfulness practices is, in fact, a return to the world that we are unconsciously watching pass by. 

Jon Kabat-Zinn described a number of mindfulness attitudes, which I like to summarise like this:

  • Non-judgement refers to the practicing of observing the moment without attributing positive or negative traits to it—instead, a non-judgemental approach seeks to simply recognise and reside with the thought, emotion, or moment.
  • Patience is the ability to allow events to come and to leave in their own time rather than trying to force one’s own expectations of how something should or shouldn’t be.
  • Developing a beginner’s mind enables us to see things fresh so that we are able to fully recognise their full implications without forcing our own preconceptions or expectations onto the experience.
  • By developing trust we learn to recognise that there is a great deal of wisdom in ourselves and as we connect fully to the present we are able to see things as they truly are.
  • Non-striving reminds us that even though our society pushes us towards goals and objectives, that we should allow events, emotions, and ideas to simply unfold without attempting to force a specific aim.
  • Acceptance is the willingness to see events, emotions, and ideas as they are and not trying to change things unnecessarily.
  • By letting go we can allow our mind to release unnecessary patterns or ideas that do not serve a greater purpose.

Download your free 21-day course in The Path of Mindfulness. In this life-changing 21-day mindfulness journey, Dr Allan Kilner-Johnson guides you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and shows you how and when to bring mindfulness into your daily life. 

Journaling to Support Creativity

Posted on by Allan Johnson in creativity, habits

I’ve kept a daily journal for almost twenty years.  It’s served many different purposes throughout the years, but has always offered me many benefits and has become a regular part of my daily ritual. In The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron suggests to her readers to begin each morning by writing three pages of stream-of-consciousness writing in longhand form. The topic of these ‘Morning Pages’ is not predetermined, nor are there any explicit goals or objectives for the content of the entries themselves. Rather, Cameron saw these three longhand pages as a vital way to clear the air for creative thinking, and bring focus back to the creative process.

Your entries might be completely and utterly mundane, but new insights and observations can emerge from this daily stream-of-consciousness writing more often than one imagines. Cameron also reasserts the importance of writing the Morning Pages out longhand, in order to stabilise the rate of thinking and the rate of writing, and to highlight the important physical connection between thinking and writing. 

By setting aside time each day to write about and reflect on your current projects, you will immediately be bringing a new level of focus to your work that might not be achieved otherwise. Many creative professionals find it helpful to begin each day by writing an entry in their research journal. They might review what they wrote about their reading yesterday, and use their daily entry as a jumping off point, or a ‘to-do’ list for the day ahead. There is also certainly a meditative aspect to this type of reflective writing, which can help to give you the motivation and focus to tackle the next step of your writing. 

Morning pages also allow you to record and analyse your own behaviours and habits as a creative. Do your entries suggest to you that you tend to do your best work in the morning? If so, then by all means examine your daily schedule and see how you can best accommodate this. Your research journal can serve to capture some subtle but very important insights about your own unique approach to the research process. 

You can learn a lot about yourself and gain a lot of insight into your life. There’s something magical about writing that thinking alone just doesn’t have.

Use these tips to take advantage of journaling to gain insight into your mind and your life:

  1. Review your day. Take a look at your day and make some notes. What is getting you down? What are the situations, people, habits, and beliefs that are causing you the most grief? Why do these things bother you? What can you do about it? What are these two things and what was so great or terrible about them?
  2. List progress toward your goals. Writing down your goals each day is a powerful way to stay focused on them. Write your 10 most important goals each day and notice how they evolve over time.Think about your goals and list the progress you made toward each. If you failed to do anything to make progress toward one or more of your goals, note that, too.
  3. Address your fears. Write about your fears. What are you afraid of? Why do you think you’re afraid of those things? How do your fears impact your life? What is your plan to address those fears? What’s standing in your way? List the obstacles in your life that you believe are blocking you from happiness or achieving your goals.
  4. List five things that make you feel grateful. What are you grateful for? Make a list of several items each day and notice how your perspective on life changes.
  5. Make a plan for the future. Aside from your specific goals, what does your dream life look like? How are you planning on getting there? Think about it and sketch out a plan.
  6. Write about what is causing you to feel negative emotions. What is getting you down? What are the situations, people, habits, and beliefs that are causing you the most grief? Why do these things bother you? What can you do about it?

Journaling each day can take some time, but it’s time that’s well spent. Develop a routine that incorporates journaling into your life. It won’t be long before you begin noticing the benefits. Do what the most successful people in the world do and write about your thoughts and your life.

Download your free 21-day course in The Path of Mindfulness. In this life-changing 21-day mindfulness journey, Dr Allan Kilner-Johnson guides you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and shows you how and when to bring mindfulness into your daily life. 

How to Cultivate Gratitude Every Day

Posted on by Allan Johnson in gratitude, habits

As the nights begin to grow longer and we move into our second national lockdown in the UK there is a fair amount of uncertainty, gloom, and worry hovering about our lives.  But now more than ever is an important time to reflect on all of the things that we are grateful for. Gratitude is a practice and an attitude that we can consciously cultivate every day of our lives through a series of simple, mindful exercises: 

Start a Gratitude Journal 

Keeping track of things that that we feel grateful for can have an amazingly positive impact on our wellbeing.  If you already have a regular journaling practice, you can begin list three things that you are grateful for in each entry.  If you do not already have a regular journaling practice, begin a gratitude journal simply by starting each day by writing down three things that you are grateful for.  Spending a brief moment to reflect on what you are grateful for is a fantastic way to start the day.

Notice the Simple Pleasures 

One of the best ways cultivate more gratitude in your life is to begin to pay attention to the small things that bring you pleasure: a beautiful flower, a perfect cup of coffee, a conversation with your partner.  In those moments, take just a brief second to reflect on the pleasure that you receive from the simple things in life.  

Look for the Positive in a Negative Situation

When you find yourself in a challenging situation reflect on what positive angle you might be able to find.  The worry of having to stay at home during lockdown, for instance, may seem negative, but it could likewise be an opportunity to catch up on books you’ve been meaning to read, complete some DIY, or try to recipes that you don’t usually have time for. 

One-Day No Complaints Challenge

For just one day, set a challenge to yourself to not complain.  This includes both complaints that you say aloud to others as well as complaints that are only in your head.  The one-day no complaints challenge can seem difficult at first, but has the amazing ability to shift your perceptions very quickly.  When you find yourself about to complain about something, pause long enough to reflect on how you might transform that complaint into a positive action. 

Give an Authentic Compliment

In our society we are often bad at both giving and receiving compliments, and we often worry about how others will receive the compliments that we give to them.  However, giving authentic, genuine compliments to those around you is not only a powerful way to acknowledge what you are grateful for but helps to make the world a happier and kinder place.  

Creativity and the Mindful Mindset

Posted on by Allan Johnson in creativity, mindfulness

When I moved into my new house over the summer, deep at the bottom of a box that hadn’t been unpacked during my two previous moves was my old, beloved copy of Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way.  If you haven’t read The Artist’s Way yet, you simply must.  It is a beautiful, suggestive book that offers some incredibly valuable advice and exercises for reclaiming your inner artist by recognising and then disidentifying from your inner critic.  

The book’s sudden reappearance during our move seemed consequential in every way.  It was almost exactly twenty years since I first began reading The Artist’s Way, and the rediscovery of my old torn copy of the book offered a very tangible reminder that mindfulness and other contemplative practices aren’t meant to dampen creative expression, but, rather, to open up and allow more direct access to creative potential.   

As The Artist’s Way makes clear, everyone has the ability to be creative and, once you learn how to unleash your inner creativity, you’ll be able to tap into it.  One of the most useful tools that I have found to connect to my own creativity is regular formal seated meditation and equally regular informal mindful practices throughout the day.  By developing a daily mindfulness practice we can connect more fully and more authentically with own inner artist and by first turning inward we are then able to turn outwards again to manifest our creative ideas, plans, and visions.

There are several things that you can to you in order to further develop the relationship between your mindful practice and your creative output:

  • Begin a journal—if you haven’t done so already, begin here! 
  • Use a reflective meditation to sit with the notion of creativity and what that word and concept means to you.
  • Use drawing, doodling, sculpting, or any art practice as a form of active mediation by connecting your breath to each movement 
  • Notice the details.
  • Draw upon a different medium to move through creative blocks.
  • As you dance to music that inspires you, pay particular attention to each part of your body working in unison.
  • Choose to avoid energy drains like social media, apps, and tv programmes which don’t inspire you. 
  • Explore.
  • Don’t rush outputs: give yourself enough time on projects to allow them to fully emerge.
  • Show gratitude for the simple forms of inspiration like a sunset, a flower, or a piece of music. 
  • Choose to avoid judging others.
  • Use your meditation practice to develop the relaxation that will enable your best creative thinking.
  • Trust the small steps to build into something bigger. 
  • Imagine a problem that you face from a different perspective.  How do you see the problem differently?
  • Stay curious and ask ‘what if?’