Category: habits

Overcoming Negativity Bias and Resistance: Cultivating a Sustainable Meditation Practice

Posted on by Allan Johnson in habits, meditation, mindfulness, Observations

Imagine you receive an email from your boss asking you to come in or give them a call. You may feel worried or anxious and think, “What is this about? Is it something bad?” These thoughts can trigger feelings of fear, dread and anxiety, which can lead to outward behaviours such as increased heart rate, sweating or blushing. Imagine the thoughts and feelings that arise and the physical sensations in your body — discomfort or uncertainty. You may also consciously react with anger because you are expecting bad news.

Notice what happened in this thought experiment: you did not know what the boss wanted, but our minds generated automatic reactions. The lack of clarity from the boss created a feeling of uncertainty and triggered a cascade of thoughts and emotions. These emotions in turn influenced our behaviour and led to a mixture of reactions that we struggled to control. As we observed this automatic flow from thoughts to emotions to behaviours, we realised that some of our actions were out of our control, while others could be consciously controlled. This realisation clarified the intricate connection between our thoughts, feelings and actions and shed light on the way our reactions are shaped by internal and external stimuli.

Humans have a negative bias that has developed over tens of thousands of years of evolution, causing us to see the more negative option as true. This bias is a defence mechanism that prepares us for the worst-case scenario. It is deeply rooted in our subconscious and guides our thoughts and actions in various areas of life. This bias likely arose from the need to be constantly alert to potential dangers in order to ensure our survival in a world full of uncertainties, and is now reinforced by the dissemination of negative information in the media and society, shaping our perceptions and reactions to the world around us. However, if we are aware of these biases, we can consciously challenge them and balance them with positive perspectives, fostering a more realistic and resilient mindset.

In the 21st century, however, we no longer need to be guided by these automatic evolutionary reactions. A regular meditation practise helps us to detach from these deeply programmed reactions by noticing when our mind is on autopilot. When we develop mindfulness, we can observe our thoughts and emotions without automatically reacting to them. This allows us to make conscious choices and respond to situations in a more aware and considered way. Over time, the practise of meditation can bring about significant changes in our neural pathways, leading to better emotional regulation and a greater sense of inner peace. In addition, mindfulness can help us become more aware of our automatic reactions and habitual patterns. In this way, we can free ourselves from unconscious reactions and live with more awareness and authenticity.

So when we focus on centring ourselves in the present, we become more receptive to the sensations in our body, the sounds around us and the subtle changes in our environment. Through this heightened awareness, we are able to notice when our thoughts wander, gently acknowledge them and bring our attention back to the present moment and the rhythm of our breath. Each cycle of this practise serves as an exercise to strengthen our mental resilience, much like an extra repetition on a strength machine or an extra mile on the treadmill. The tools of integrative meditation act as catalysts for change, gradually reshaping our neural pathways and redefining the way our minds work. By becoming more aware of our thoughts and emotions, we begin to decode their patterns and gain insight into the inner workings of our mind, leading to a deeper understanding of ourselves and our thought processes.

Meditation is a transformative journey that goes beyond the designated time slot. It becomes an integral part of our daily routine and influences our thoughts, actions and overall well-being. Much like the careful tending of a garden, our meditation practise requires patience, dedication and nurturing. If we continue to invest time and energy into this practise, we will witness its gradual development, much like the growth of a garden over time. Just as a gardener tends to the various aspects of his garden, we nurture our meditation practise, encourage its development and reap the rewards of our persistent care and attention.

When we start something new, we go through a motivational cycle. In the beginning, we are excited and enthusiastic, full of hope and ambition, eager to master new challenges and seize new opportunities. Over time, however, it is natural for motivation to wane as the novelty wears off and we look for something new to reignite our passion and interest. This is a common phenomenon that many people face, and it often serves as a reminder to look for new sources of inspiration and fulfilment in our pursuits.

Perhaps you are noticing a resistance to your meditation practise today. Are you bored? Are you frustrated because you have to keep focussing on the object of meditation? As you deepen your meditation practise, it is normal to encounter these challenges. It can be beneficial to recognise these moments of resistance as opportunities for growth. You could experiment with different meditation techniques or incorporate a change of scenery to revitalise your practise. Remember that every moment of resistance is an opportunity to strengthen your mindfulness muscles and deepen your meditation experience. Keep exploring and stay open to developing your practise.

Simply recognise these feelings without judging them. Recognise that each emotion has a purpose and a message to convey. Take the time to sit with these feelings and allow yourself to fully experience them without feeling the need to react immediately. This mindful approach can lead to a better understanding of your emotions and give you a sense of inner peace.

These resistances often reflect how we react to challenges in our daily lives. When we are faced with adversity, our inner strength and bravery are tested and through these challenges we discover the depths of our resilience. Whether it’s a personal struggle, a professional setback or a social issue, our ability to face and overcome obstacles shapes our character and determines our path. Any resistance we encounter serves as a mirror that reflects our reactions, our coping mechanisms and our ability to grow. These moments of resistance are not only obstacles, but also opportunities for self-knowledge and empowerment.

When you begin a meditation practise, simply be aware of these obstacles. Pay attention when they arise and understand that they are natural. The first step is to notice them when they arise. It is important to face these obstacles with patience and understanding. By recognising their existence, we create the space for self-reflection and growth. As you dive deeper into your meditation practise, you may find that these obstacles reveal valuable insights about your thought patterns and emotional responses. Embracing these insights can lead to profound changes that allow you to develop a more positive and compassionate attitude. Remember that this is a journey of self-discovery and that every obstacle is an opportunity for personal development and inner resilience.

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If you want to start putting these ideas into action, you can sign up for Integrative Meditation (Level 1). This course represents the culmination of years of learning, practice, and personal growth. Integrative Meditation is a comprehensive framework designed to enhance your mental and emotional well-being. It draws on Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), positive psychology, neuroscience, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), journaling, and breathwork to support you in reducing stress, enhancing focus, building emotional resilience, and discovering your true self.

A New Approach to New Year’s Resolutions

Posted on by Allan Johnson in habits, intention

The new year marks the start of a new chapter and, with it, the tradition of setting resolutions. For many of us, resolutions such as exercising more, getting rid of bad habits, journaling, or learning to meditate become important goals for the year ahead. But most New Year’s resolutions don’t seem to be as effective as we would like to believe. On average, we stick to our New Year’s resolutions for around four and a half months. For more than one in five of us, these resolutions last less than 30 days, and only 6% of us manage to stick to them for the whole year. 

To ensure we set ourselves the best possible plans 2024, instead of a taking a conventional approach to goal setting, let’s explore a transformative perspective on how to make lasting change in our lives.

The traditional method of crafting New Year’s resolutions usually involves pinpointing aspects of ourselves that we perceive as shortcomings and then finding ways to ‘fix’ them. Often these resolutions seem daunting, almost insurmountable, which perhaps explains why we often hear little about them after January, and more often than not we resolve to do things because we think that we should rather than considering how the resolutions can contribute to our bigger plans for personal growth. 

Instead, let’s consider a subtle paradigm shift: what if we saw them not as distant goals that can make us better in the future, but as invigorating challenges that are part of a longer journey of growth and change? By changing our mindset, we move from merely striving to achieve resolutions to striving for personal growth. Challenges act as a catalyst for adaptability, equipping us with the resilience needed to overcome unforeseen obstacles. They facilitate continuous personal growth by emphasising a journey of constant development rather than fixating on a predetermined end point. This subtle but crucial shift can cultivate a mindset of greater resilience and adaptability, fostering a more positive and constructive approach to self-improvement.

Embracing challenges over resolutions is a powerful catalyst for the development of grit, self-confidence, and discipline. Grit is resilience in the face of adversity, and we cultivate it when we view challenges not as hurdles to be overcome, but as opportunities for growth. The consistent effort required to face these challenges fosters a tenacity that is the foundation of grit. By navigating the varied terrain of our chosen challenges, we learn to trust our ability to adapt and persevere in the face of uncertainty.

In overcoming any challenge, be it small or large, we gather evidence of our abilities and strengths. If we regularly don’t meet the targets that we set for ourselves we quickly come to believe that we don’t have the ability to achieve. However if we make continual progress toward conquering a challenge we build the self-confidence muscles needed to keep us going. This tangible evidence forms the basis for true confidence. Challenges can push us beyond our comfort zone and enable us to tackle future challenges with greater certainty.

Discipline is honed by the constant commitment required to overcome challenges. It is about dedicating ourselves daily to our chosen challenges to create a sense of structure and routine and the discipline we develop in this process can be transferred to different aspects of our lives. It enables us to persevere through the inevitable ups and downs and leads us to sustained success in our personal and professional endeavours.

Fear of failure often leads us to unconsciously undermine our own longer term plans. We may give up sooner than necessary and succumb to the belief, whether consciously or unconsciously, that success is unattainable. This defeatist attitude calls into question the intrinsic value of trying. For example, if we have set ourselves the challenge to wake up at 5am in 2024 and realise that we’ve hit snooze and it’s now 5.02, we might tell ourselves that we have already missed the target and consider it a failure. In such cases, it’s important to change our perspective: a resolution is something that is achieved or not; a challenge is something that we are continually working on within our selves. 

Another major hurdle that often arises is the lack of motivation. It’s easy to get carried away by the enthusiasm with which you make ambitious New Year’s resolutions, such as meditating for two hours a day or running a 5k during our lunch break. As we tackle our 2024 challenges, it’s imperative that we look at the why behind each commitment. By asking ourselves questions like, ‘how will I change after completing this challenge?’ and, more importantly, ‘why is this change meaningful to me?’ we can anchor our motivation in personal relevance.

Unrealistic expectations are a common challenge, often due to underestimating what we can achieve in a year while overestimating our daily capacity. Rather than setting an unrealistic goal, such as running a 5k every day during our lunch break if we are new to running, we should change our approach. Instead, we can aim to run 5k by the end of 2024 and break this goal down into manageable daily or weekly habits and systems. This way, what seemed unattainable on 2 January 2024 becomes an extremely realistic expectation for 31 January 2024.

Perfectionism is another significant obstacle to achieving our goals, a challenge that many of us will face in 2024. Many people who set goals struggle with perfectionism, as these two factors are often intertwined and create a sense of winning or losing. In contrast, challenges provide a path for continuous growth and development. Much like Frodo’s journey to Mordor, there are inevitably ups and downs, victories and setbacks along the way. Our path to overcoming challenges is anything but a flat, linear path; it has its own ups and downs. It doesn’t have to be flawless— it’s enough to keep the challenge in sight.

As we stand on the threshold of a new year, let’s revolutionise our approach to the usual resolutions. Instead of fixating on rigid goals, we should set ourselves challenges. This shift in perspective encourages a mindset characterised by continuous growth, resilience, and adaptability.

In The Path of Mindful Living: A 21-Day Mindfulness Companion, I lead you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and show you how to bring mindfulness into your daily life. Readers of my blog can download the workbook and pullout charts for only £6.

How I’m Reading 100 Books in 2024

Posted on by Allan Johnson in creativity, habits, intention, Observations

Reading has always been more than just a pastime for me — it’s my passion and my whole world. To misquote Barbie‘s Ken: my job is books. But perhaps somewhat surprisingly, in the hustle and bustle of my day job as an English literature academic, the sheer joy of reading for pleasure has fallen by the wayside. In order to get back to the joys of simply reading for pleasure I have set myself a challenge to read 100 books in 2024.

I read a lot as it is, but as there is so much more out there that I want to consume and enjoy I am challenging myself to read a lot this year. Nearly twice as much as I read last year. And, just to be clear, the 100 books are those that I am reading for pleasure–not the many more books that I will also be reading just for work.

I’m feeling pretty confident that I can meet this challenge because I already have a lot of strategies that have always helped me read a huge amount for my job. While these tips and tricks have been helpful to me as an English academic over the years, this year I am repurposing them for my own benefit to make sure that I am reading the stuff that I want to read for pleasure this year.

Here are some tips on how you can read 100 books (or 52, or 25, or 12, or whatever!) in 2024:

  • Keeping a TBR List: In order to navigate all the fantastic books that you have in store for you, keeping track of your To-Be-Read (TBR) list is paramount. My strategy is to use Goodreads as a comprehensive tool to keep track of the books I want to read, am currently immersed in, and have completed. This not only simplifies the reading process, but also provides a rewarding visualisation of progress and turns the literary journey into a tangible adventure.
  • Multitasking the reading experience: The key to an enriching reading experience lies in variety and having several books on the go at once ensures flexibility: if I don’t like one book, there’s another waiting for me. As I take a cross-platform approach, I juggle between a printed book, a Kindle and an audiobook. This ensures that, whatever the mood or situation, I always have a literary companion at hand to transport me to other worlds.
  • Notes as a ritual of immersion: For a devoted bibliophile, reading goes beyond the act itself. It becomes an immersive ritual where you internalise the essence of each book. My simple note-taking system consists of underlining or highlighting key passages and then summarising the book in my Goodreads reviews to create a tangible connection with the material. It’s a practise that goes beyond just finishing a book; it’s about creating a record of what you’ve completed
  • Giving up the unappealing: One of the liberating facets of my reading challenge is that I allow myself the freedom to give up on a book after the first 50 pages if it doesn’t captivate me. Life is too short to force yourself through something that you don’t vibe with. This ensures that each book contributes to the pleasure of reading rather than becoming a chore.
  • Visibility and accountability: When you resolve to read a hundred books in a year, visibility becomes a powerful accountability tool. Platforms like Goodreads are no longer just personal logbooks, but become public statements of commitment. This visibility acts as a subtle motivator, a gentle reminder that the literary journey is shared and that milestones should be celebrated together.

For me the challenge of reading 100 books in one year is not just about sheer quantity, but about rediscovering the joy of reading for pleasure. You can track my progress and share your own reading adventures on Goodreads — a virtual place where fellow literature lovers come together to celebrate the magic of books!

In The Path of Mindful Living: A 21-Day Mindfulness Companion, I lead you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and show you how to bring mindfulness into your daily life. Readers of my blog can download the workbook and pullout charts for only £6.

Mastering 2024 with a Personal Annual Review

Posted on by Allan Johnson in habits, intention, Observations, Productivity

Review and reflection are an important part of the creative process, but one that is often underestimated or completely undervalued. Having those moments where we look at the work we’ve completed and realise how we’ve changed and grown as a result, and what new opportunities or challenges present themselves to us in the future, is part of the process of constant iteration and growth.

An annual reflection is an opportunity to reconnect with our purpose and find a greater sense of clarity, recognise growth, and ensure we’re aligned with our long-term goals. It’s also about being more accepting of change, recognising how we have grown over the year, but also that we want to continue to grow in the year ahead. 

Reflection encourages creative innovation, and it’s something I’ve been doing regularly in the last few weeks of December over the last few years. The tool I use to structure the questions of my annual review is what is called the PERMA Model, developed by positive psychologist Martin Seligman. This model provides a holistic framework for understanding and improving our wellbeing and focuses on five essential elements that contribute to a flourishing and truly fulfilling life. 

  • P stands for ‘Positive Emotion’ and emphasises the importance of feeling joy, gratitude and contentment. 
  • E is for ‘Engagement’ and encourages us to seek out activities that put us in a state of flow and immerse us deeply in the world around us. 
  • R stands for ‘Relationships’, recognising the important role of positive social relationships and communities in our overall wellbeing.
  • M refers to ‘Meaning’, encouraging us to find purpose and significance in our actions and behaviours. 
  • Finally, A represents ‘Achievement’ or ‘Accomplishment’, recognising the importance of engaging in and pursuing meaningful challenges to foster a sense of competence and growth within us. 

This model emphasises the interconnectedness of all these elements, asserting that a balance between positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning and achievement leads to a more robust and inclusive sense of wellbeing. 

The PERMA model is a practical guide to improving our overall life satisfaction and a tool to help us reflect on the past year and plan for the year ahead. It can serve as a framework for our personal annual review and provides a nuanced lens through which we can evaluate the different facets of our lives. 

The strength of the model is that it allows us to holistically assess our situation and our progress this year, so that the annual review goes beyond simply setting goals. Instead, this approach encourages us to explore our emotional wellbeing as part of our creative process. It encourages quality social relationships and the pursuit of activities that contribute to a greater sense of purpose as you move towards your personal goal. 

PERMA ensures that every element of a balanced life is brought into focus. Like any other annual review it incorporates a focus on achievements, but it doesn’t stop there, as it emphasises the importance of living in a way that aligns with with our personal values and which fosters a deep sense of purpose. Elements of personal growth such as engagement and purpose are placed centre stage and we’re asked to reflect on how we have developed and what we have learned. 

PERMA can transform our personal review from a mere checklist of achievements into a powerful journey of reflection. It invites us to explore emotions, evaluate commitment, cultivate meaningful relationships, find goals and celebrate successes, encouraging a continuous and adaptive approach to our self-improvement. 

To do your personal review, start by finding a comfortable, private space and take some time to make it really cosy and inviting for you. This could mean lighting a candle or pouring yourself a cup of tea or coffee, perhaps with some music playing in the background. And then sit down with a notebook and write down your answers to these PERMA questions. Trust your instincts and don’t overthink your response. 

Positive Emotions (P):

  • What were the most joyful moments you experienced throughout the past year?
  • Reflecting on challenging times, how did you cultivate positive emotions to navigate difficulties?
  • Did you engage in activities that brought you a sense of contentment and fulfilment?
  • How can you incorporate more activities that elicit positive emotions into the upcoming year?

Engagement (E):

  • Identify the activities or projects that made you feel completely absorbed and engaged.
  • Were there times when you experienced a state of flow, losing track of time while working on something meaningful?
  • Did you pursue hobbies or interests that brought a deep sense of satisfaction and engagement?
  • How can you structure your daily or weekly routine to include more activities that bring a sense of engagement?

Relationships (R):

  • Reflect on the quality of your relationships with friends, family, and colleagues.
  • Were there any conflicts or challenges in your relationships that need resolution or improvement?
  • What actions did you take to strengthen existing relationships or cultivate new meaningful connections?
  • How can you prioritise and nurture your relationships in the upcoming year?

Meaning (M):

  • Consider the goals and values that provided a sense of purpose in the past year.
  • Were there moments when you questioned or reaffirmed your sense of meaning and purpose?
  • Reflect on activities that aligned with your personal values and contributed to a greater sense of meaning.
  • What new goals or areas of focus can you explore to enhance the overall meaning in your life?

Accomplishment/Achievement (A):

  • List your significant achievements and accomplishments over the past year.
  • Reflect on goals you set for yourself and assess the progress you made toward achieving them.
  • Were there any setbacks or obstacles that impacted your sense of achievement, and how did you overcome them?
  • What new goals or challenges do you want to set for yourself in the coming year?

In The Path of Mindful Living: A 21-Day Mindfulness Companion, I lead you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and show you how to bring mindfulness into your daily life. Readers of my blog can download the workbook and pullout charts for only £6.

How to Create Your Perfect Meditation Space

Posted on by Allan Johnson in habits, meditation, mindfulness

Meditation spaces are not always rooms in the true sense of the word; often they are just quiet corners in your house or flat where you can retreat to reflect, relax, and meditate. Meditation spaces are places where you can unwind at the end of a stressful day and collect your thoughts the beginning of a busy week. This can be in your living room or bedroom, in your garden, or on the beach. In the midst of modern life, the ability to create space for meditation can be the key to positive change. When we are able to create a space for ourselves – a quiet space, a space to gather our thoughts, a space to relax – we become more balanced, more at peace, and better able to stay in the present moment.

It is important to slow down and take time to collect your thoughts and relax your mind.
Finding and creating a quiet space for meditation is an essential part of meditation and key to a positive lifestyle. Make sure you have enough space around you. You do not want to feel too crowded. The space should be conducive to meditation and provide you with the conditions that supportive for your complete relaxation.

No matter how small your home is, it is possible to set up a meditation space where you can find peace and quiet. If you have a garden, a good place to meditate would be on the patio or in the garden. If you live in a flat, studio, or small house, a quiet corner or even the bathroom can work perfectly. Some people prefer a meditation space in the kitchen or in their bedroom. The most important thing is to find a space that suits you and your need for a peaceful meditation experience and for a quiet and relaxed environment.

It is also important to look for a space that is free from clutter such as papers, books, or other items that might distract you. The purpose of meditation is to develop calmness and relaxation, which allows us to be mindful of our thoughts, emotions and physical sensations, so clear the space around you and make it as clutter-free as possible. Make sure your meditation space is a comfortable temperature. Your body temperature drops when you meditate and you need to avoid drafts as they can make your meditation unpleasant. When you meditate, find a light environment that suits your needs. If you find the light too bright, try candlelight.

Your meditation room does not need much in the way of furniture. You can use a small cushion or chair to sit on while you meditate. If you sit on a chair, make sure it is comfortable and you can easily sit upright. If you choose to meditate on the floor, make sure you have appropriate padding to support you. One of the main reasons people choose meditation cushions is because they allow you to sit upright and keep your back straight, which makes meditation easier. There are conventional meditation cushions and stools, but all you really need is a throw pillow that raises your hips above your knees for a more comfortable sitting posture. The cushion should be comfortable and supportive, not too soft to give you the support you need, but not too firm or hard either. There are many people who prefer to meditate lying on the floor, bed or couch and they find this position much more comfortable and relaxing. Experiment with different positions and find out which one works best for you.

You do not need anything to meditate, but to make your meditation space your own, you might want to invest in candles or incense, or perhaps a potted plant or some flowers. Some people like to use incense because it creates the right atmosphere and helps them relax. Whatever you choose, make sure it suits you and does not just look nice. You can make your space as simple as you like, but if you set it up to suit you and your needs, you’ll be more likely to use it.

Whether you prefer to meditate in the early morning or in the middle of the night, you need to set up your meditation space so that you can really feel comfortable there. If you meditate in the evening or at night, prepare your body by spending some time in the shower or bath This will help you relax and be ready for the meditation experience. It also helps you to relieve the stress of the day so that you can enter your meditation room with a calm and relaxed state of mind. Before you sit down, go slowly and pause a few times to allow your body and mind to adjust to the new environment. This will help you to experience the moment with a minimum of inner turmoil. It will help you prepare your mind, bringing your body and mind into harmony.

Download your free 21-day course in The Path of Mindfulness. In this life-changing 21-day mindfulness journey, Dr Allan Kilner-Johnson guides you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and shows you how and when to bring mindfulness into your daily life.