Calming Stress Through Meditation

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Stress is endemic in our modern world. It determines the way we work and live, the way we eat and sleep, the way we walk and sit, the way we breathe and rush from one activity to the next. Stress has become such a part of our modern existence that it almost feels natural. But when people are stressed, their bodies break down, their joints and muscles tighten, their heartbeat speeds up, and their blood pressure rises. While some forms of short-term stress can motivate and encourage us, long-term chronic stress is not good for our bodies or our minds.

The fight or flight response is a natural reaction that occurs when the body perceives a threat to its survival, a threat to its physical well-being or to its psyche. The body responds to the perceived threat, often by increasing heart rate and blood flow. This reaction is unconscious and occurs without the body being aware of what is happening. The fight or flight response is a reaction pattern that has been passed down through countless generations and is essential for survival. Our genetic code is the way it is because it helped our ancestors survive.

But the fight or flight response is only really useful when it is working properly. When the body is too stressed or overreacts, it can lead to physical symptoms such as headaches, palpitations and insomnia. In addition, stress can lead to anxiety and depression. To reduce stress and anxiety, people can adopt practises that help reduce perceived threat, such as meditation and yoga. These practises help prevent the fight or flight response, which can help improve mental health.

Mindfulness meditation and yoga are great ways to control the fight or flight response and can actually improve the body’s natural ability to deal with stress and anxiety. Mindfulness meditation can be a great way to address the fight or flight response and thus gain control over your emotions. In mindfulness meditation, you focus on your breath to calm yourself while being aware of your emotions. Many people find that this is a good way to recognise the physical symptoms of their emotions, such as tension or stress.

In the General Adaptation Syndrome model developed by Hans Selye, there are three phases that people go through when they are stressed. The first phase is the alarm response, in which the body perceives a threat to its survival. Blood chemistry changes, and heart rate and blood pressure increase. The second phase is the acute stress response, and the third phase is the exhaustion phase. This is the moment when the body begins to break down due to the stress response and is no longer able to withstand further stress.

Meditation is a practise of awareness, and the ability to be aware of the physical changes that occur when a person is stressed and begin to lower a person’s stress levels. Meditation helps to relax the body, calm the mind, and create balance within the body. By calming the mind, the things that are seen as threats (that is, the things that cause stress) become easier to manage. But reducing stress is not the end of the exercise. Since stress can make one vulnerable to illness, reducing stress can help the person stay healthy.

Daily life is a constant flow of information that washes over us and stops only when we consciously want it to. The mind detaches from the world around it, withdrawing from the outside world and withdrawing from itself. Our thoughts and feelings become more abstract, while our experiences become less concrete. The self is cut off from the ‘everyday’ of the outside world and our experiences become detached from the self. The next thing we know, we feel completely overwhelmed by stress and cannot see a way out. One of the most important things we can do to find a way out of the stress and anxiety trap is to become more aware of our daily experiences. Mindfulness meditation is a way to understand the mind and our own experiences. By learning to be more mindful and aware of the thoughts and feelings that arise within us, we can find a way out of the stress and anxiety cycle.


Download your free 21-day course in The Path of Mindfulness. In this life-changing 21-day mindfulness journey, Dr Allan Kilner-Johnson guides you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and shows you how and when to bring mindfulness into your daily life. 

How to Begin Meditating: 4 Simple Steps to Get You Started

Meditation has been used for thousands of years to help people become aware of what is going on in their mind and body. Through developing this awareness we are able to take a step back and observe the thoughts that go through our mind, the feelings that arise in our body, and our reactions to events occurring around us. In mediation we learn to observe but not to judge our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours and to see how they affect the world around us and our relationships. When we learn to observe ourselves with greater awareness and clarity, we also learn to observe others with greater clarity, and we are able to bring more compassion and love into our lives. We become more aware of the impact of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours on ourselves and others, and we are able to step back and recognise patterns that we have been repeating.

When we get into the habit of observing our thoughts, our feelings, and our behaviour, we begin to understand how our actions affect others around us. Meditation is not a one-time thing. It is a way of living and a way of learning how to observe our thoughts and feelings, how to avoid getting lost in them, and how to observe these ideas and emotions without judgement. Meditation is about learning how to live with greater awareness and clarity. 

Meditation is easy to begin but takes a lifetime of practice. These four steps will help you to begin your own regular meditation practice:

  1. Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed. Get comfortable, close your eyes and begin to turn inward. You do not have to be in any particular position to meditate. Some people like to sit cross-legged and rest their hands comfortably on their knees, but you can also simply sit on a comfortable chair with your feet on the floor.
  2. When you are ready, begin to follow your breath. Take a few deep breaths, becoming aware of your breath. When you inhale, allow the breath to fill your whole body and when you exhale, allow the breath to leave your whole body. As the breath continues to flow in its own time, begin to focus on the sensations in your body. Be curious about how your body feels and how it changes from one moment to the next.
  3. Once you are familiar with your body sensations, you can begin to turn awareness to your thoughts. As you continue to be aware of the gentle movement of breath in and out, you can notice how thoughts, feelings and emotions arise and how these thoughts, feelings and emotions affect your life. You can see that thoughts and feelings are like clouds and you can watch them float by and dissipate if you just observe them.
  4. Next, begin to notice emotions as they rise within you, like the breeze blowing gently through the trees. Feel your emotions flowing through your body or filling your body as they pass through you. You can be present with yourself and allow yourself to notice and feel your reactions, accept them and be with them, understanding that they may be beyond your control.

The more often you practice meditation, the more you will learn about yourself and about your life. As you begin notice your thoughts, feelings, and reactions, you may find that they are created by the mind and that they are not solid things that can be held in our bodies. They can only be held in our mind, and when the mind stops, the thoughts and feelings stop too. Every morning is a new beginning, a fresh start to the day, a time to cleanse your mind and heart, and a time to let go of old habits and open up to new habits. By keeping this in mind you can learn to observe your reactions to stress, sadness, frustration, pain and anger and bring more compassion and love into your life, and use this compassion and love to become a better person, a better friend, a better parent, and help to create a more balanced and happier life.


Download your free 21-day course in The Path of Mindfulness. In this life-changing 21-day mindfulness journey, Dr Allan Kilner-Johnson guides you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and shows you how and when to bring mindfulness into your daily life. 

Self-Compassion and Unconscious Contracts

It’s extraordinary the number of positive changes that come to us as we begin to connect more fully to an expression of compassion and kindness. I don’t mean only compassion and kindness towards others, but also self-compassion and feelings of compassion and kindness towards ourselves that enable us to live openly and freely.  As we move through our day-to-day activities we have a tendency to operate through a series of what the British economist Michael Allingham called unconscious contracts. Unconscious contracts are systems of rules, regulations, and expectations that we unconsciously set for those in our immediate sphere and subsequently expect them to follow.  Unconscious contracts that we set with others, for instance, might be that one should not block the aisle with their shopping trolley or that parents should raise their children in a certain way.  But the most important thing about unconscious contracts is that these are fundamentally systems of power that we apply to others without their understanding or awareness. 

We also form a complex network of unconscious contracts with ourselves.  We might, for instance, have created an unconscious contract with ourselves that we must never be wrong, or that we must always be perfect, or that we must always be the first to speak, or that we must never speak in a large group.  If we don’t begin to identity and question the unconscious contracts we have set with ourselves that might limit certain behaviours or overemphasise behaviours that are not supportive to us and those around us, we begin to lose sight of our own compassionate connection to ourselves and can find it increasingly difficult to move through our lives freely.  

In order to bring positive change in the world around us, one of the first things that we must do is enter into a compassionate relationship with ourselves by identifying ways in which we might begin to dismantle the power of these unconscious contracts with ourselves. And in the same way that self-compassion can be further developed by recognising the unconscious contracts that we have developed, so too are we able to develop a more positive, compassionate and kind relationship to others by recognising the unconscious contracts that we have set with them. Compassion toward others begins with compassion toward self.

Martin Buber, the great twentieth-century philosopher, writes about ‘I and thou’ relationships. Very often we operate from a position of ‘I and it’ relationships where we view the other people as an object, but in ‘I and thou’ relationships we’re speaking from our highest self to their highest self rather than applying unconscious rules and expectations to either them or to ourselves. Through stripping away all of the challenges created by unconscious contracts, we’re able to bring about more positive changes in our own lives and in the society around us.

The Mindfulness Principles

Mindfulness doesn’t merely teach us to centre our minds in the present, but to powerful reorient ourselves to the full timeline of our lived experiences.   In doing so, we learn to recognise our experiences of the world around us in powerfully transformative ways.  While some may start with the concern that mindfulness is a selfish turn inward that removes them from the facts and realities of the world, that inward turn is only for a moment—the ultimate aim of mindfulness practices is, in fact, a return to the world that we are unconsciously watching pass by. 

Jon Kabat-Zinn described a number of mindfulness attitudes, which I like to summarise like this:

  • Non-judgement refers to the practicing of observing the moment without attributing positive or negative traits to it—instead, a non-judgemental approach seeks to simply recognise and reside with the thought, emotion, or moment.
  • Patience is the ability to allow events to come and to leave in their own time rather than trying to force one’s own expectations of how something should or shouldn’t be.
  • Developing a beginner’s mind enables us to see things fresh so that we are able to fully recognise their full implications without forcing our own preconceptions or expectations onto the experience.
  • By developing trust we learn to recognise that there is a great deal of wisdom in ourselves and as we connect fully to the present we are able to see things as they truly are.
  • Non-striving reminds us that even though our society pushes us towards goals and objectives, that we should allow events, emotions, and ideas to simply unfold without attempting to force a specific aim.
  • Acceptance is the willingness to see events, emotions, and ideas as they are and not trying to change things unnecessarily.
  • By letting go we can allow our mind to release unnecessary patterns or ideas that do not serve a greater purpose.

Download your free 21-day course in The Path of Mindfulness. In this life-changing 21-day mindfulness journey, Dr Allan Kilner-Johnson guides you through a series of self-guided mindfulness exercises and shows you how and when to bring mindfulness into your daily life. 

Creativity and the Mindful Mindset

When I moved into my new house over the summer, deep at the bottom of a box that hadn’t been unpacked during my two previous moves was my old, beloved copy of Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way.  If you haven’t read The Artist’s Way yet, you simply must.  It is a beautiful, suggestive book that offers some incredibly valuable advice and exercises for reclaiming your inner artist by recognising and then disidentifying from your inner critic.  

The book’s sudden reappearance during our move seemed consequential in every way.  It was almost exactly twenty years since I first began reading The Artist’s Way, and the rediscovery of my old torn copy of the book offered a very tangible reminder that mindfulness and other contemplative practices aren’t meant to dampen creative expression, but, rather, to open up and allow more direct access to creative potential.   

As The Artist’s Way makes clear, everyone has the ability to be creative and, once you learn how to unleash your inner creativity, you’ll be able to tap into it.  One of the most useful tools that I have found to connect to my own creativity is regular formal seated meditation and equally regular informal mindful practices throughout the day.  By developing a daily mindfulness practice we can connect more fully and more authentically with own inner artist and by first turning inward we are then able to turn outwards again to manifest our creative ideas, plans, and visions.

There are several things that you can to you in order to further develop the relationship between your mindful practice and your creative output:

  • Begin a journal—if you haven’t done so already, begin here! 
  • Use a reflective meditation to sit with the notion of creativity and what that word and concept means to you.
  • Use drawing, doodling, sculpting, or any art practice as a form of active mediation by connecting your breath to each movement 
  • Notice the details.
  • Draw upon a different medium to move through creative blocks.
  • As you dance to music that inspires you, pay particular attention to each part of your body working in unison.
  • Choose to avoid energy drains like social media, apps, and tv programmes which don’t inspire you. 
  • Explore.
  • Don’t rush outputs: give yourself enough time on projects to allow them to fully emerge.
  • Show gratitude for the simple forms of inspiration like a sunset, a flower, or a piece of music. 
  • Choose to avoid judging others.
  • Use your meditation practice to develop the relaxation that will enable your best creative thinking.
  • Trust the small steps to build into something bigger. 
  • Imagine a problem that you face from a different perspective.  How do you see the problem differently?
  • Stay curious and ask ‘what if?’